Moving Day
by Fallaby Z
Summary: In which Shikamaru moves out, to his extreme chagrin, and gets a roommate, who is unconventional, silly, and not at all what he expects. It all started, in fact, with that one melty ice cream. HIATUS
1. Moving Day

_Moving Day_

(Shikamaru)

Today was a hell of a bad day.

It was moving day.

My parents somehow got the idea that they were 'spoiling' me by letting me stay with them at the "prime age of sixteen". Psh. I fail to see how that makes sense.

Anyway, they apparently talked to a friend of theirs and got a cheap lease on an apartment in Konoha.

Basically, they were kicking me out. It was written all over their faces: they couldn't wait for me to leave.

It wasn't that I was going to get homesick or anything; it was just a pain in the rear.

So, on what was probably the most annoying day of my life, not only was I forced to wake up early by my evil troll of a mother _on my day off_ _to buy damn groceries_, my ear was half blown out by her incessant screaming, scolding, and screeching in general. I still wonder even now why my dad married her.

I can only come to one conclusion: he was an idiot.

When I finally got to the market (my mother _insisted_ on organic food for some strange reason I couldn't comprehend—food was food, right?), I was shoved to and fro by a horde of crazy, fat old women who smelled like a combination of baby powder and sauerkraut.

And _then_, once I painstakingly tossed the tomatoes, broccoli, and whatever was on Mom's shopping list into the girly sack she made me bring, I felt something wet and sticky drip down my back.

Turns out some loony chick decided to buy a freaking _ice cream_ in the middle of winter and smeared it onto my back. Heck, I even felt it start to dribble into my underwear.

So what did I do?

It should be obvious.

* * *

><p>(The Roommate)<p>

Today was a hell of a bad day.

It was my first day back in Konoha (I'd earned my Chuunin rank when I was fourteen but ended up forsaking a shinobi's relatively steady life to travel the world, but ended up crawling back because I was tired of a nomadic lifestyle), and guess what?

It was moving day, and the freaking movers didn't come with my stuff.

And guess what?

The IDIOT of an apartment leaser-or-whatever-it's-called just decided to INFORM me at the last minute that my apartment (which I'd got for an unbelievably cheap price) was going to be shared by somebody else.

Somebody else?

Somebody _else_?

In other words, I could potentially be rooming with a psycho, 72-year-old pedophile who hides porn under his bed? Or a freaky chick with a bad tan that brings her boyfriend every day to sleep with?

No. _Hell_ no.

Still, being the cheapo I am, I couldn't let go of such an incredible deal, so I agreed to accept. After all, I _was_ a Chuunin-level kunoichi. Be it pervert, weirdo, or closet freak, I could handle them all. Unless they were Jonin level. Then…maybe not.

But I could handle everyone else!

(Or so I thought.)

Anyways, I decided to cool down and treated myself to a nice, cold ice cream cone. I _loved_ eating ice cream cones, especially in frigid weather and rainy days. I loved the feel of the icy, smooth, creaminess slithering down your throat whilst walking in an equally frosty environment.

As a natural food connoisseur, I just _had_ to savor the heavenly taste and happened to close my eyes when—

_Smush._

Tentatively, I cracked open one eye to discover in horror that my _beloved_ treat was _dripping_ down some ignoramus's filthy back. Worse, some of the ice cream was dribbling down his butt.

_Aw, shoot. Now my ice cream's all wasted._ Sighing, I examined the remnants of the dessert. No good; the cone was crushed, too.

"What the _hell_?" The dude with my Chocolate Ice Cream Deluxe dripping down his back whirled around, disgruntled. _WHY ME_ was written all over his face.

He made a low growling noise at the back of his throat. "This is going to be a pain to wash off."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just moved back and my movers bungled up all my stuff, so I'm going to be sleeping in my clothes for a few days, and I just found out that I'm going to have a roommate that could literally be _anyone_!"

I expected pity. I received none.

"…Okay…" was all I got in return. And a weird, _Are-you-an-idiot_ look.

Not. Appreciated.

So I did the first thing that popped into my head: I flung the rest of my ice cream at him.

My Chocolate Ice Cream Deluxe landed quite successfully with a satisfying squelch. Right smack in the sucker.

_Yesssssssss._

* * *

><p>(Shikamaru)<p>

Dirty laundry on the day I moved into my apartment. _Exactly what I needed._

And _now_, I had her cold, melty ice cream dribbling down my face.

I didn't have the patience of Choji, but I always thought I was a lot more calm than Ino. Now, I wasn't so sure.

This scrawny girl was really pushing it.

I breathed out slowly, closing my eyes and letting a wave of calm wash over me. Something that she had said struck me as strange:

_"I just moved back…"_

_"…I just found out that I'm going to have a roommate that could literally be anyone!"_

Aha. _Now_ Mom and Dad's furtive smiles made more sense. I found myself grinning, and almost laughed at the way the girl jerked warily. "You just wait, Ice Cream girl."

Before I walked away, she yelled back, "Don't think I won't remember this, you-you Pineapple Head!"

_Women._

* * *

><p>(The Roommate)<p>

"It's been an hour and forty-five minutes." Glancing up from my nth time parading the corridor of the apartment complex, I glared at the oh-so-innocent apartment owner. Heck, she was _whistling._"Do you have no sense of compassion for humankind?" I asked in disbelief.

"Shikamaru's _always_ late." The landlady shrugged. "Besides, not all life is filled with rainbows and unicorns, sweetie."

Like I didn't know _that_.

I sighed, feeling angry at myself for not backing out of the lease sooner. "If this 'Shikamaru' character doesn't show up in 5 minutes, I'm backing out and I'm raising hell about this shady apartment complex. You people are—"

"Oi, what's all the ruckus? I drag myself over here and there're already screechy neighbors?"

I paled. _No way._

"Oh, Shikamaru! You're here!" The landlady practically cheered. "Meet Saito Suzume—she's your new roommate!"

I gaped at my new 'roommate'. "YOU…PINEAPPLE HEAD!"

He inclined his head in what _seemed_ like a polite way. "Ice Cream girl."

Suddenly his parting words to me made a lot more sense. So he'd _known_—

I glanced for another unpleasant projectile to toss at him, and grabbed a squeegee.

His lips parted and he started to back away: "Don't you dare-"

Oh, yes.

I dared.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed. Reviewing would be appreciated.<strong>


	2. Apartment Rules

**Apartment Rules**

One: Pineapple is not allowed to steal into Ice Cream's bedroom and do perverted, creepy things like smelling her underwear. (_Are you crazy? I wouldn't do that._) Pineapple is also not allowed to use the bathroom when Ice Cream is in it, nor is he allowed to do indecent things like walking around in the nude. (_I resent that comment._)

Two: Pineapple is not allowed to bother Ice Cream during her premenstrual and menstrual stage. Or post-menstrual stage. (_Isn't that just all the time, then?) (Yes.)_

Three: Pineapple will not make any indecent advances towards Ice Cream. (_Like I would want to, stupid. There's nothing to look at, anyway._) (_*slap*)_

Four: Ice Cream will not make a mess of things and put the crap that she owns in Pineapple's boundaries. (_My stuff is NOT crap!_)

Five: Ice Cream will honor all rules that she has made towards Pineapple and follow the Golden Rule at all times. The penalty will include a severe fine (paying for that month's rent and electricity fees) and a free meal at Ichiraku's.

Six: Ice Cream will not touch any of Pineapple's possessions without permission, such as the shogi board. ESPECIALLY not the shogi board.

Seven: Both occupants will honor the cleaning schedule, taking-out-the-trash schedule, and using-the-bathroom-for-extended-periods-of-time schedule.

Eight: Both occupants will cook for themselves.

Nine: Both occupants will wash their own dishes directly after they have used them.

Ten: Both occupants will not steal each other's food. _(I think that's the most important part, don't you?) (I don't really care either way.)_

* * *

><p><strong>Can you tell who is who?<strong>

**This story will be written in snippets. Treat this as a short bookmark that gives you a peek into their life, and how these rules change as their relationship evolves.**

**Thank you for reading. You don't have to review this chapter, but it would be nice!**


	3. Messy Situations

_Messy Situations_

"I refuse to cooperate with you."

"Finally we agree on something."

Yamanaka-san, the head of the Intel Division, shifted his glance between us uneasily. "Look, surely working together isn't so bad..."

"With _him_, it is." I pointed an indignant finger at him. "He thought I was _stupid_ the first time he met me!"

Shikamaru groaned, sitting back in his chair. "This is such a pain."

"_You little twerp!_" I lunged over the table at him, but Yamanaka-san held me back.

"Stop squabbling. Suzume, you're being immature. Shikamaru, you're sorely underestimating this girl. She's easily the best out of the Cryptanalysis Squad, and she's quite the analyst."

I flushed proudly. "Thanks."

Yamanaka-san nodded kindly. "Now work together. This code isn't going to be decrypted by itself."

The mood soured instantly, but I nodded. "Yes sir."

Shikamaru grunted.

The moment Yamanaka-san left the room, I muttered, "I don't even know how I put up with you at home."

We seemed to bicker a lot at home, over the littlest things. Like who had left the toothpaste uncapped (me) and who had failed to shut off all the lights before leaving (him). It was mostly me kicking up the fuss, true, but he _always_ had some kind of snarky, smartass comment that just got me so riled up!

So it wasn't my fault.

Really.

Avoiding him outside the apartment had been easy, too, until I found out that he was an analyst, too, and worked under Tsunade-sama. I was good at Cryptanalysis, though I was trained mainly for Intel work, so I was put to work under Yamanaka-san—so I supposed that it was inevitable that we'd meet in our line of work eventually.

Not _this_ soon, though.

When he didn't respond, I made a face and grudgingly picked up a pen to start decoding the pile of messages on the desk. First, I sorted them into levels: easy, medium, hard. Then, I put the first two piles on the floor and replaced them with a stack of clean paper.

Ever since I was young, decoding ciphers had been a breeze for me. They were kind of like puzzles—and I could easily see the way they came together. Because of this, somehow I never was really able to forget the way each code fit together, and I loved seeing new codes that I had difficulty in decoding.

I finished writing the first decoded message with a flourish, setting it in a tray and working on the next one.

It was a while before I realized that my irritating roommate hadn't moved an inch, his head still on the desk. His shoulders rose up and down as he took deep, easy breaths.

_The little booger was sleeping. SLEEPING! After what Yamanaka-san was telling him! Was he not afraid of punishment?_

I poked Shikamaru's stupid pineapple hair with the pointy end of my pen. "Oi. Lazybutt. Wake up and get to work."

He lifted his head slowly, like a turtle, and yawned, obviously not completely awake. I frowned at him. "I've already finished ten ciphers," I bragged not-so-subtly. "When are you going to catch up?"

Shikamaru glanced at me, like he was sizing me up. "Don't get hasty, Ice Cream." Picking up a pen in a slothlike manner, he didn't bother separating his own stack before starting to scrawl the message on paper.

I glanced covertly at his writing: slanted and barely legible. He was, however, faster than I'd cut him out to be, so I quickly got back to my own work.

The hard pile was cleared in another fifteen minutes; I then moved on to the medium stack. A glance at Shikamaru's rapidly reducing pile told me that if he continued at the pace he was going, he'd be finished in only a half-hour.

I had to speed up.

Thankfully, much of the messages were coded with ciphers I had familiarized myself with a long time ago. The problem would be writing legibly enough to be considered quality work and not make mistakes when writing too fast.

Ten minutes later, the medium stack was finished.

He had half the stack I had left.

_Now for the easy._

Throwing all caution to the wind, I whipped through the remaining stack with ferocity. When I'd laid the last cipher in the 'Finished' pile, I look up at Shikamaru triumphantly.

He was watching me with a smirk on his face, lazily twirling his pen, his pile completely untouched. "You're pretty competitive, aren't you?" he asked, yawning once more.

My cheeks burned. _He'd tricked me?_

"Why?"

He glanced up from the cipher.

"Why do you always treat me like this?" I asked, elaborating. "That's right—I'm competitive. You know this, so why do you keep on provoking me? Why do you say things that make me angry?"

He didn't stop scratching away on the paper as he spoke. "At first it was just petty retribution, I guess." Shikamaru paused in his work. "Now…I guess 'cause it's fun to get a rise out of you."

"You—" I almost lunged at him again, but held myself down.

"See? It's easy," he remarked dryly.

I exhaled deeply, calming myself down. "I'm leaving," I said shortly, standing to exit the room. _This guy is awful._

"You're not bad."

_What?_ I turned, surprised.

"The guy was right. I underestimated you." Shikamaru lifted his head to look at me. "I'd like to live the rest of my life in peace, so…truce?"

Hesitating, I wavered at the door.

Well, it'd be nice to not fight so much, but…

"I want an apology."

His eyebrows drew together. "What?"

"An apology. For tormenting all this time," I retorted, sticking my chin up in the air obstinately. "Unless you don't _think_ you did anything wrong?"

"Well, what about the ice cream incident?" he shot back. "You never apologized for that."

He got me.

Ugh.

"_Fine_. Sorry," I spat out.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, as if to say, _Really?_

More sincerely, I backtracked. "S-Sorry."

Shikamaru finished his stack easily and placed it on top of mine. "Then I'm sorry too."

_Maybe he wasn't so unreasonable after all. Incredibly lazy, but…not unreasonable._

I trudged up to the boy and extended my hand slowly. "Truce?"

He took it and shook it once, firmly. "Truce."

_Yes…maybe rooming with him wouldn't be so bad after all._

Yawning, he moved around me to exit the room first. "By the way, you were a little sloppy on the last third of the pile—you got a couple of them wrong."

Horrified, I dashed back to my stack and checked—

He was right. _Again._

"SHIKAMARU!"

I wasn't sure, but I thought I could hear his muffled laughter.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading! If you have time, please drop a review!<strong>


	4. Cooking Woes

_Cooking Woes_

Burnt.

_Burnt. Burnt. Burnt. Burnt. Burnt._

I wailed in frustration as I slammed the fourth (_FOURTH!_) piece of blackened toast onto the kitchen counter and left to open up the windows. The air was becoming clogged with the acrid, burnt smell, and I wasn't going to have Shikamaru yell at me again.

Over the past month we'd been living together, I found myself the constant target of his sleepy glares and terse words. Especially since today was the start of his vacation, he had given me explicit instructions to not wake him up with my "bumbling", as he put it, until he woke up himself.

"What the hell did you do to the kitchen, Ice Cream?" I froze as I saw him poke his head around the corner, wrinkling his nose.

I tried to move to cover the black toast from his eyes, shifting from foot to foot guiltily. "A little…culinary accident."

"Accident?" he scoffed. "More like explosion." He sniffed again and groaned. "It _stinks_."

Instinctively, I shrunk as he moved directly in front of me, his much larger body covering mine completely. We stood there in that same position, him looking down at me and me looking down at my slippers.

"Move."

"Huh?"

"_Move_," he repeated dryly. "I want my orange juice and I want it now."

"O-oh." Relieved that I wasn't going to get yelled at, I scuttled away to the side as he opened the refrigerator door, eyeing the blackened pieces of toast out of the corner of his eye gingerly, and uncapping the entire carton of OJ before glugging it down.

I was about to complain that _I'd_ bought that orange juice, but bit down my words, because he'd bought the bread that I'd burnt.

"Let's make a deal."

"Huh?" I lifted my head questioningly.

"We both know you're hopeless at cooking. Heck, you burn _water_."

Feeling a hot flush spread across my cheekbones, I sprang up indignantly. "I can cook pasta!"

"Yeah, that's the _only_ thing you can cook." Shikamaru capped the orange juice and placed it back in the refrigerator. For such a lazy person, he was surprisingly neat. "I'll do the cooking from now on. In exchange, you do the laundry and the cleaning."

I almost jumped at the enticing offer, but stopped myself just in time. There must've been some kind of catch.

"No catch," he said, guessing my thoughts immediately. "I just have a really bad feeling that you'll explode the kitchen or burn the entire apartment down or something."

"…_Really_?" I asked doubtfully. "You sure? Aren't you busy?"

He shrugged. "As long as you're okay with my cooking."

"I'm assuming you can cook better than me."

There was a short pause. Evidently he hadn't really considered that aspect. "…I'm sure it'll work out. Eventually." Cue a long, drawn-out yawn.

Somehow I wasn't so convinced anymore.

* * *

><p>Forty-five minutes and a trivial argument later, we sat at the tiny kitchen table, fork and knife in hand. I stared at the slightly burnt toast and the scrambled eggs a bit suspiciously, but after seeing a flash of worry cross Shikamaru's face, I dug in.<p>

_Crunch._

There was no way he'd miss the tell-tale sound of an eggshell.

I forced a pleased smile and reached for the toast instead. "It's—"

"Stop it," he interrupted. "I know it sucks ass." Strangely enough, he looked a bit disappointed in himself—and maybe even embarrassed.

Shikamaru, _embarrassed_? I'd never seen him embarrassed before.

Yet there he was. Embarrassed.

_What could I say to make him feel better?_ I wondered to myself. "Well…you were right."

He lifted his head.

"You really are a better cook than me."

Shikamaru awarded me with a small chuckle, and we both picked up our forks again and shoveled breakfast into our gullets, egg shells and all.

**Later**

"Mom?"

"Oh, Shikamaru, honey, when did you get back?"

"I actually have a favor to ask of you…"

"Hm? Is that roommate of yours giving you problems again?"

"No, Suzume's fine, but—"

"Suzume?" His mother smiled secretively. "First name basis, huh?"

Shikamaru waved her off insistently. "Actually, I need you to teach me how to cook."

"…_WHAT?_"

**At the same time**

I took the clothes from the clothesline and began folding it, humming to the radio that I'd turned on a while ago. After I finished folding one of my skirts, I reached for one of Shikamaru's pants and began folding it—

_RIIIIIP._ The telltale sound of fabric ripping was unmistakeable. I couldn't hide a wince.

…

Right down the butt seam. Great.

I ran to get the phone.

"Hey, Hinata, I was wondering…d'you know how to sew?"

* * *

><p><strong>If you haven't guessed already, this story will be filled of short drabbles and stories going across a time frame. Sometimes it won't even be a story; it'll just be a clipping of something (for example, the last chapter, which consisted of the Apartment Rules) and possibly a time stamp. It WILL be chronological but there will also be gaps in between. Here, a month has already passed since Shikamaru and Suzume first moved in together.<strong>

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**P.S. Out of curiosity, how do you like the story so far?**


	5. Teach Me

_Teach Me_

"Shogi." Shikamaru set his prized board down in front of me.

I glanced down at it, perturbed. "Shogi…what?"

"I'm teaching you once and for all."

It was one of our lazy days, as well as a rare day when we were both in the apartment together. I'd been busy working with Yamanaka-san, the head of the Intel department, to organize information on the Akatsuki. Lately, Shikamaru had been rushed to the Hokage's office as well, no doubt ferrying information here and there and even attending important meetings.

Hearing about his accomplishments made me realize how great of a guy he was. It was strange, listening to the fishwives' conversations and being able to proudly brag, "That's _my_ roommate."

Not just friend, but roommate.

Somehow the arrangements had worked out after all.

Anyways, today was one of those unbearably hot days, where all you wanted to do was hang around the air-conditioned house with a popsicle in your mouth. Which was what I was doing right now: clad in ratty shorts, a tank top, and my hair up in a bun, I was busy fanning myself as I crouched over the shogi board.

"Don't drip over my board," Shikamaru chided with a deep-set frown.

"Awright, I won't." I sat back on my haunches. "So why do you want to teach me shogi all of a sudden? Isn't it 'too much of a pain'?" I asked, quoting one of his most used phrases.

"It's even more annoying not to have anyone to play with. And it'd be stupid for someone like you to _not_ know how to play, anyway."

Somehow I had a feeling that this was his roundabout way of paying me a compliment, so I smiled and said, "Thanks."

He ignored me and started setting up the pieces, naming them as he went. "King. Rook. Bishop. There are two generals, silver and gold. Knight. Lance. Pawn."

"I'm guessing the pawn is the weakest one?" I asked jokingly.

Surprisingly, he glanced up with a serious look on his face. "Not necessarily." The grave expression quickly smoothed over to his usual ambivalence, however, and he began to explain the rules of the game. "This is a game of war—of calculation. The goal is to force your opponent into a corner—by capturing the King…"

* * *

><p>An hour later of extensive explanations and five games (the first three went by pretty fast, because Shikamaru figuratively KO'ed me in five seconds each), I was ready to balk and toss the pieces everywhere. Then again, it would probably earn me a good Shikamaru-style lecture: a few well aimed words and a piercing glare that chilled you to the bone.<p>

I yawned in an attempt to surrender without actually surrending. "Hey, Shikamaru, I—"

Unfortunately for me, he knew exactly what I was trying to do. "Tired already? Or are you just tired of _losing_?"

Dammit. Now I _had_ to keep on going.

Frowning, I caught the taunting twinkle in his eye before setting up the board again. "I'll win this time."

"Mmhmm," came his noncommittal reply.

It was ON.

_Oh, you just wait. You just wait, Pineapple._

* * *

><p>Shikamaru straightened from his slouching posture to form a strange seal with his hands, his brow furrowed just slightly.<p>

"Shika—"

"Shut up, I'm thinking," he barked.

I jumped, frowning and more than a little bit hurt. "Gosh, just asking." My mood brightened, however, when I leaned over the board and gazed adoringly at my wonderful setup.

_Now, Shikamaru, how will you get out of this one?_

He was still thinking.

Then, his eyes opened, and they connected with mine—brown with brown. I slumped, defeated, as he smiled suddenly and moved one of his pieces.

"Checkmate. You lose." Shikamaru stood, stretching. "And now, you owe me a forfeit."

I swear, he got giddier every time he won. Or maybe every time I lost.

Who knew what was going on in that head of his?

* * *

><p><strong>Shorter chapter than usual. Reviews would be much appreciated!<strong>


	6. Gone

_Gone_

Before I knew it, Shikamaru and I fell into a static routine. At seven, I'd wake up to get the early-bird deals at the market. Haggling for the best deals would take a while, what with all the crazy housewives bargaining away, so I wouldn't return until eight-thirty.

By that time, I would open the door to be greeted by Shikamaru's annoying alarm clock. The alarm clock would keep on ringing for about a minute until Shikamaru got up to shut it off, or if I yelled at him to just break the stupid thing.

Then the door to his bedroom, adjacent from mine, would open slowly and he'd come out in his pajamas, yawning, before disappearing into the bathroom. The faucet would turn on, slightly squeaking (we still hadn't gotten around to hiring a plumber), and Shikamaru would be brushing his teeth and gargling away while I worked on putting things away in the fridge.

"Morning," he would say as he emerged from the bathroom, his hair collected in his ponytail and freshly changed from his pajamas. "We're having eggs for breakfast."

Eggs were a communal thing that we agreed were both easily made (by him) and filling. "Let's have omelets," I would say, or suggest something similarly deviant.

The kitchen would fill with a wonderful smell, of spices or cheese, and I would set our small table while Shikamaru busied himself over the stove. He'd gotten good at flipping eggs.

"Orange juice," he'd remind me, but I would've already had two large cups of orange juice poured and ready.

We'd sit down-Shikamaru's head usually bumping the overhead light and making me laugh, and then we'd dig in. Breakfast never tasted so good.

"What are you doing today?" I would ask, and he would reply before asking me the same. The length at which we conversed was drastically different (he had a habit of answering to the bare minimum, while I practically talked until I made his ears bleed, or so he told me).

Our plates cleaned off, Shikamaru would then leave with a quick "I'm leaving now", while I washed the dishes and yelled back, "Have a good day!"

Today was different.

Shikamaru had left early this morning, much earlier than when I had woken up, to go off on a mission. He didn't give me the details, just that it had to do with the Akatsuki, he was going with his old captain, Asuma-san, whom I'd met on a number of occasions, and that he wasn't sure when he'd be back.

Being part of the Intel Division with Yamanaka-san, it was no surprise that I didn't get sent out on missions very much. Most of the time, I spent my days cooped up in the office, categorizing files and, if I was lucky, receiving news at HQ and dispatching the information to couriers.

The day started at eight instead, since I wasn't going to bother cooking. To my surprise, when I opened the refrigerator, I found that it was stocked with microwaveable dinners, juices, a plate of cooked eggs, and a loaf of cold bread. There was a note on top of the eggs:

_You don't have to thank me._

The succinct way the words were written brought a smile onto my face, but it was still lonely, standing in that empty kitchen and making an egg sandwich. Taking two pieces of the bread, I slathered some ketchup on one slice and thickened soy sauce paste on the other before sandwiching a cold egg between the two.

Shikamaru had given me a weird look when I first showed him my "odd" way of eating egg sandwiches, but after trying a bite out of mine, reluctantly agreed that it wasn't bad tasting. (To which I replied, "Not _bad tasting_? It's _delicious_!")

"It's quiet," I said aloud to myself, just to break the silence.

It didn't work.

* * *

><p>"Suzume, receive the courier messages," Yamanaka-san instructed as he whipped past me, his long blond ponytail almost slapping my face.<p>

I dodged the ponytail, a feat I'd gotten used to over the time I'd been at Konoha, and proceeded to the roof immediately. One of the rules in our division was, "When an order is given, don't ask and just do it."

The roof contained a landing place where we intercepted messages from our courier birds. The only ones allowed up here were those who were specially trained to receive the birds—sometimes-vicious creatures that were really the sweetest things on Earth.

"Anything lately?" I asked the other Intel division member, who shrugged and went bustling off to take care of the birds.

Figuring that it was going to be a pretty lazy day, I swung my legs over the railing and contented myself in looking off into the distance.

_Konoha is beautiful_, I thought distantly, gazing over the Hokage Mountain, the little buildings, and finally the red sunset bleeding into the orange sky. _I'm glad I came back._

A sharp screech from above alerted me, and I hurriedly hopped back within the boundaries of the roof.

It was a hawk: fast, dangerous, and symbolizing a message of dire importance. Not just any hawk, though; his name was Bito, and I'd helped train him as the fastest, strongest courier in Konoha. Trepidation gripped me, and without thinking, I stuck my arm out to catch the bird.

I hadn't had the foresight to invoke a jutsu protecting my skin, and yelped in surprise when the hawk latched its sharp claws onto my arm, piercing the fabric easily and drawing blood. Hurriedly, I untied the message attached to a collar around its leg before letting the hawk fly into one of the empty cages.

The message was important—I needed to get it to Yamanaka-san immediately. "Take care of Bito; I need to get this to the Head, pronto."

"Got it." Thankfully, the other division member didn't ask and let me rush down the steps to HQ.

"Yamanaka-san." Just one look, and the head understood immediately. He rose from his seat immediately and grabbed the letter from my hand. "Come. We're heading to the Hokage's office."

It wasn't the first time I'd been to the Hokage's office, but she was still a formidable figure every time I visited. With the appearance of Yamanaka-san, her face hardened, and her hands came up to fold up against her mouth, the worry lines around her eyes and forehead becoming harsher.

"Yamanaka."

"Code red letter." He opened it up, took one look at it, and handed it to me. "You decode it. You can do these things faster than me."

Unfurling the letter, I proceeded to decode the message immediately. The code was something that was familiar to me, but the way it was written was strangely rushed and hurried.

I decoded the first line and swallowed with fear:

_Team Asuma, Akatsuki attack._

The next two:

_One casualty._

And then:

_Body retrieved._

_Team escaped and returning ASAP._

There was more to the message, but somehow, I didn't feel like reading more.

Immediately, I thought of Shikamaru. My pattering footsteps halted, and I gripped the paper, my hands shaking violently as I bit back tears. _Not him. Please…not him. Not my roomie._

A life without Shikamaru and his eggs? Impossible. Unthinkable.

I shook my head, swallowing harshly. _Concentrate!_

"Well?" the Hokage asked curtly. "What does it say?"

My eyes glided over the entire message, piecing together the words, before I spoke. "Team Asuma was attacked by the Akatsuki—two members. One casualty, the body was recovered. They are heading back as we speak, and they have new information about the two members—Hidan and Kakuzu."

"Who died?" Tsunade-sama asked brusquely, subconsciously leaning forward.

My eyes found the last two words, and my chest heaved with relief. "Sarutobi Asuma."

Then I remembered:

Sarutobi Asuma was Shikamaru's old captain. Shikamaru was on the mission.

Shikamaru watched Asuma-san die. He had _failed_ to save him.

Shikamaru, fail? Shikamaru never failed. Shikamaru always won, where I was concerned.

As relieved as I was that Shikamaru hadn't been the one to leave, somehow, I had a feeling that he wasn't going to come back like the old Shikamaru after all.

Old Shikamaru was gone.

New Shikamaru would be here to stay, but not for long.

Not long at all.

Yamanaka-san glanced at my arm, which was soaked in blood. "You should put a bandage on that before it gets any worse."

I nodded absently, wondering if Shikamaru's wounds were too deep to be bandaged at all.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews would be appreciated! Thank you for stopping by.<strong>


	7. I Mind

_I Mind_

It was the first time I'd seen Ino and Choji cry. I mean, I'd seen Ino cry, over heartbreak and crushes, but not like this:

Not this awful, full-blown _weeping_.

Wanting to cry myself, I could only clutch Ino's shoulders and hug her tightly. "It's going to be all right," I murmured to her, over and over. "Just let it all out, Ino. Let it all out."

"H-H-How is it g-going to be a-all right without—" Her voice caught on the words, and she burst into a fresh round of tears. "Without Asuma-sensei?"

I felt warm arms enclose around me and Ino and a head dig into my back, my shirt quickly getting wet. _Choji._

"Shikamaru will figure something out," I reminded them. "He always does." _At least, I hope so._

"Yeah right," Ino sniffed, using the handkerchief I proffered her to blow her nose. "He didn't even come to the funeral!"

"H-He has his reasons," Choji muttered, though even he couldn't keep the bitterness from leaking into his voice. "Shikamaru was closer to Asuma-sensei than the rest of us." It hurt him to admit this, but from what I'd heard, Shikamaru had loved Asuma-sensei the most.

"It doesn't excuse his behavior," I put in quietly, feeling a bit irritated at Shikamaru's rash and immature behavior. "He should've been there to support Kurenai at least." I had already promised Kurenai that I'd help her through the pregnancy process, or at least give moral support. The poor woman would have to raise her child without a father, but that didn't mean that she had to raise Asuma's son or daughter alone.

"I hate them," Ino bit, "I hate those Akatsuki! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!" She pounded her fists on my shoulders, which admittedly hurt quite a bit, but I didn't protest. "I hate Asuma-sensei for not being careful! I hate Shikamaru and everyone else for not saving him! I hate Shikamaru for not knowing beforehand! I hate that—_that I wasn't there to die for him_!"

The guilt of a survivor. How well I knew how that felt.

Choji gritted his teeth and lifted his weight from my back, coughing and straightening. "I'm going to go see Shikamaru."

Instinctively, I thought of our empty apartment; Shikamaru hadn't come home. Instead, he'd gone straight to his old house and shut himself in his bedroom, refusing to come out—at least, that's what Ino told me.

He would need clothes.

I voiced my thought to Choji, adding, "I want to see him too."

Choji nodded solemnly. "Just don't take his reaction to heart."

* * *

><p>Shikamaru's mom, Yoshino-san, greeted us tiredly. Her eyes lit up when she saw Choji and me, though, and she accepted my bag of Shikamaru's clothes gratefully. "He's in his room," she told us. "Refuses to come out and eat. I put food outside of his door, but…" She trailed off.<p>

"I'll take the food to him," I volunteered. Nodding, she led me to the kitchen to grab the tray laden with delicacies.

"The boy won't even eat his favorites," Yoshino-san sighed. "And he hasn't spoken at all."

"That idiot," I muttered. "Can't even see how much trouble he's causing for everyone. The least he can do is _cry_."

"You have to understand," his mother reminded me soberly, "that Shikamaru expresses emotion differently than others. I haven't seen him cry since he was an infant."

Flushing with embarrassment, I ducked my head.

We arrived at Shikamaru's room just in time to see Choji storm out, his face red with fury. "I can't take you anymore, Shikamaru!" he shouted before taking off.

Yoshino-san and I looked at each other worriedly, and she placed the tray into my hands. "Please be gentle with him," she whispered.

"I'll try, but I can't promise anything," I retorted. _What had he done to make Choji, mild-tempered CHOJI, blow up like that?_

"Then again, maybe a good punch would do him wonders as well." We chuckled, but halfheartedly.

I took a step into Shikamaru's room. The light wasn't on, so I flicked the switch.

Shikamaru didn't even wince from the drastic difference, instead sitting alone in the center of the room.

I set the tray down as quietly as possible, but it didn't matter in the end, because the plates clattered loudly.

"Shikamaru?" I asked tentatively.

No answer.

_Time for a one-sided conversation, then._ Settling myself down in front of him, I folded my hands in my lap and thought about what to say.

_I'm sorry for your loss._ No, too cookie-cutter and superficial.

_Won't you come out?_ If his own mother wasn't able to drag him out of his room, then what gave me the power to do that?

Honestly speaking, I doubted that even the Hokage could shake Shikamaru when he was this focused, or down in the dumps, or…whatever.

I sighed, contenting myself by turning around and facing the garden. It was nice, really; all tranquil and pretty. There was the sound of running water, from the miniature waterfall, and the occasional sound of koi fish tails slapping the pond's surface.

"Hey…the food's going to get cold," I said to the silence.

I waited for a sign that he was listening, but to no avail. Still, I persisted. "It's all your favorites; or did you want eggs instead?"

"Shut up."

Shikamaru's words stung, but at least he was talking.

"I've had an awful time without you," I continued conversationally. "But thanks for taking care of breakfast. The eggs were great."

"_Shut up._"

I didn't stop to take a breath. "Well, I'm glad you're back—"

"_Can't you take a hint_?" Shikamaru spoke suddenly. "Can't you take a hint and _leave me alone_?"

"No, I can't." I turned around to face him. "I'm not going to leave you alone, because you being all mopey like me being like this. _Annoying and irritating._" Striding over to him, I jerked him upwards by the collar and dragged him outside.

He protested visibly and struggled against my force, but as a guy who was exhausted from a mission, grieving internally (?), and forcibly starving himself, at this point, he could do nothing against me. Especially when I was starting to get mad.

"You, my friend, are in a really sucky situation right now. I get that. _Everyone_ gets that. But you going all 'hermit' on everyone's _not_ going to help—you know that." I took a deep breath, folding my arms. "Asuma-san's killers are still out there. Are you going to just rot away in your room like some closet freak?"

"_What do you understand_?" Shikamaru hissed. "You happy-go-lucky idiot, you don't understand _anything_."

"Then _make_ me understand, why don't you?" I screamed back. "You're not helping much, sitting there like an even bigger idiot."

"You—" Shikamaru cut himself off abruptly. "I can't. I just _can't_, okay?" He grabbed a fistful of grass and plucked it from the ground. "Just leave me alone."

_LAST. FRIGGING. STRAW._

Hooking my fingers behind his collar with one giant push, I flung him into the pond furiously. He gargled something in surprise and flailed around before finding the ground and standing up. "What was _that_ for?" he yelled.

I folded my arms victoriously. "Are you mad?"

"What?" he asked, caught off guard and bewildered.

I repeated my question nonchalantly. "Yell at me, Shikamaru. Just let it all out."

His eyebrows drew together angrily, but he didn't say anything, just breathing heavily. I stepped into the pond, treading the water until I reached him.

"Look, I know I don't really understand. I know I'll probably never really understand. But we're all here, Shikamaru, we're here and we're with you." Quickly asking for courage, I let my arms wrap around Shikamaru's middle and buried my face in his chest.

"I mind, okay? I mind that you're not eating, that you're not saying anything. I know you're feeling awful, and that's not even scratching the surface. But I just—just wanted to let you know that we're not going to just stand by and see you beat yourself up over this.

"Nara Shikamaru is not omnipotent. He makes mistakes. But I trust that he'll come back. That he'll figure things out. And—and I know I'm not much help, but if you need a hug or a punching bag or something…I'm available. " I let go with a sigh. "But that probably didn't help all that much, did it? I'm sorry."

Shikamaru was quiet, soaking wet as he was. "Why do you cry?" he finally asked after a long moment of silence.

"Cry?" I realized that the wetness on my cheeks wasn't from Shikamaru's damp shirt, but from myself. "Oh…well…"

"You don't even know him all that well." His face twisted, for the first time showing any sign of grief. "So why are you sad?"

"Am I not allowed to be?" I retorted indignantly. To be honest, I didn't even know the answer to his question.

He brooded over my answer again.

"You should really go and talk to Ino and Choji," I murmured. "They're worried, you know?"

With that, Shikamaru went completely still. He turned his back and sloshed out of the pond. "…I know. I need some more time."

I slumped, defeated. _I knew I couldn't help. Still…_ "Shikamaru?" I called one last time.

He stopped.

"…" I chewed my lip, thinking furiously for something to say. "…Never mind."

We parted ways, me feeling like a total schmuck for talking to him like that. I'd been trying to provoke some kind of reaction from him, but it didn't seem like I helped at all—

"Suzume-chan, yes?"

I whirled around to face a much older looking Shikamaru with a scar on his face. His dad, I remembered. He smiled. "Don't feel bad."

A hot flush crept onto my cheeks. _He saw_?

"You were pretty loud," he said, in a way that reminded me much of Shikamaru—always predicting what I was thinking.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I tried to help, but—"

"But you did help!" Shikamaru's dad answered. "You ripped down his barriers quite well. Now all he needs is another push, and he'll be back to normal in no time."

"You mean…?" My mind was whirling with possibilities.

"Yeah. I'll send him to your place before he leaves, though. To say a proper goodbye."

_Shikamaru will avenge Asuma-san's death. He's going to go up against two members of the Akatsuki._

_He might not ever come back._

I swallowed. "Okay. Thanks."

For all my tough, sanctimonious words, there was one thing for sure: I didn't want him to leave.

No, I didn't want him to leave at all.

* * *

><p>The tears didn't come until I returned to the apartment—Shikamaru and my apartment.<p>

Perhaps I was fonder of him than I'd originally thought.

* * *

><p><strong>And so the saga begins. Tbh I wasn't sure how to make Suzume react to Shikamaru's attitude, but I decided that I'd make her react in a way that I'd react: confused and not knowing what the hell I was doing. So if it comes off as scatterbrained and unprepared, that's what I meant for it to be. (excuses lol)<strong>

**In case you haven't noticed: CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN CHANGED RATHER DRASTICALLY. I added in another one (Messy Situations) and changed Chapter 1 (Moving Day) pretty much completely. Because I wrote that chapter over a year ago, I feel as if my writing and therefore grasp on the characters have changed.**

**Please review! Do you like the changes so far?**


	8. Bye Bye Birdie

_Bye Bye Birdie_

_*Disclaimer: I do not own Bye Bye Birdie or Naruto. The quote used below is from Lilathuveril's own creation._

I woke up with a jolt when the door to the apartment opened.

Footsteps.

A thief?

Getting out of bed slowly, I reached for the nearest weapon, finding a kunai. I gripped it carefully, testing it in my palm. Straining to listen, I heard the footsteps get closer, until they stopped at my door.

The door creaked open, and I made my move.

Instantly, the intruder countered with another kunai, knocking it away harmlessly. "Suzume, it's me."

"Shikamaru?" I stepped back, surprised.

"It's good to know that you're on your guard, I guess." He hovered awkwardly in the door frame. "…Can I come in?"

I fought to fight down a blush and nodded, shuffling away slightly as he entered and stood in the center of my room. Why was he here? I wondered, before remembering his father's words.

"…Are you leaving?" I asked reluctantly, happy that he'd come back but fearing the worst.

His nod was the only answer I needed.

"I see." At this point, I wasn't sure what to say. Be careful? You have a plan, right?

And then the taboo words:

_Please stay._

_I think I love you._

I sighed. I could never say that.

"Do you doubt me?"

"Huh?" I glanced up, surprised.

Shikamaru was gazing at me impassively, his arms folded and his entire body leaning against my small desk that was overrun with books. "Do you doubt me?" he repeated, his eyes challenging.

"No, but…" I chewed on my lip, not caring if it bled or not. "…I'm still scared."

"Scared?" Shikamaru asked, not exactly curious, but more in a prodding manner.

I nodded miserably, knowing I looked as pathetic as I sounded. "Of you dying. Of everyone dying, I mean," I amended. Too late.

"Shinobi's code," Shikamaru reminded me quietly. "The world won't wait for us."

I nodded in quiet assent again. Didn't matter; I was still terrified.

"Are you afraid, Shikamaru?" I asked timorously. How could he just stand there, all calm and collected, when he could very well be walking to his death? Inviting it, even?

The room was silent. I watched the way the moonlight created strange shadows on Shikamaru's face.

"To contemplate defeat is to invite it," he said, quoting from a book on strategy—one that was in fact lying on my desk. Instinctively, my mind flashed back to the memory of me lending the book to him when he claimed that such tomes had no merit for him. He returned it a day later, reluctantly admitting that he'd devoured the book in its entirety overnight—not a good idea, because he proceeded to get an earful from the Hokage after falling asleep during a meeting.

Shikamaru brought me back to reality. "I have trust in my plan. I have trust that it will succeed. That's why…" He inhaled deeply. "Trust me. Don't be afraid for me."

My breath caught in my throat. Words…I tried to speak, but found that I could not, as caught up in his image as I was.

He was strangely captivating, standing there calmly in the moonlight, outfitted for a harsh journey of traveling and battle. So strong and assured of himself. So unafraid. So ready to sacrifice himself.

Absently, I wished that I could be as confident as he was; not a cryptanalyst that hid in the basement half the time and an intel director that talked mostly with birds on roofs the other half, but a real shinobi. A fighter.

He crept closer, reaching behind me to draw my blanket tightly across my body. Instinctively, I shivered; not because of the draft coming from the open window, but because of his magnetic presence. My tongue unstuck itself from the roof of my mouth, and I swallowed. "Do you doubt me?" he asked once more.

It's now or never.

Springing onto my tiptoes, I linked my arms around Shikamaru's neck and pressed my lips to his, throwing all caution to the wind and just kissing him. He froze, as expected, but neither pushed me back nor invited the attention. Finally, after a few tense moments where I didn't dare to do anything more, I released him, embarrassed. "Yes," I whispered. "I trust you."

Shikamaru's expression was inscrutable in the darkness.

Then, in a movement that stilled my heart for a few seconds, he pressed his hand to my cheek and stroked it with his thumb in an almost tender motion. I could feel him studying me before he leaned down, his breath wafting against my ear.

A heartbeat later, he was gone through the window, his last words to me ringing in my head:

_Thank you._

I groaned as I slid down to my knees, my fingers gripping the soft carpet as I struggled to make sense of the situation. Now what did that mean?

* * *

><p>"He did what?" Despite herself, Sakura leaned forward, anticipating. "Shikamaru did that? <em>SHIKAMARU <em>Shikamaru?" She repeated, as if we weren't talking about the same person.

Sighing, I buried my face in a pillow with a soft 'oomph'. "Yeah," I said, my voice muffled, "but I don't know what that means. It would've been easier if he just said 'yes' or 'no'."

"Well, he is a guy," Tenten admitted. "Maybe he's just being dense."

"Somehow I don't think Shikamaru's dense at all," Hinata commented. "Maybe that's just the way he accepts your feelings." Her pale cheeks darkened with an adorable blush. "At least, that's what I think."

We were at Sakura's house for a much-needed sleepover; with tensions rising and work slowly accumulating, all of us (Sakura, Tenten, Hinata, and me) were starting to get burnt out. In need of frivolous things to talk about, the girls instantly snatched up the topic of my questionable love life, something that I was more than happy to talk about because I was just so confused.

'Thank you?' I kiss you, tell you I trust you, which by the way is probably the singlehanded most embarrassing thing I've done in my entire life (GOD FORBID IT HAPPEN AGAIN), and you tell me "THANK YOU"?

What the heck is that supposed to mean? "Thanks, but no thanks?" "Thanks, I'll think about it?" "Thanks, I'll make sweet, sweet love to you when I get back home?"

The last one was voice bluntly by Sakura, making all of us (minus Tenten) jump.

"Sorry, I just can't imagine that happening," I muttered, fanning my face. It got hot all of a sudden. "It's hard to even imagine kissing him."

"But you did kiss him," Hinata reminded me. _Oh…right. (WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY)_

"That's right," Sakura added. "How did it feel?"

"Sparks? Fireworks?" Tenten asked eagerly.

"Uh…" I thought furiously. "Well, it was all on the spur of the moment, so honestly, I really don't remember. Just normal, I guess. Are there supposed to be fireworks?" I asked worriedly.

"Uh…well…" Everyone furrowed their brows and thought.

"I guess not…" Sakura finally concluded lamely.

"Oh, how am I going to face him when he comes back?" I wailed. "Why did I even think that virtually confessing to him was even necessary?"

"Because you know that there's a good chance of him not coming back." Tenten voiced the unbidden thought in all of our heads. We were all probably thinking of the people in our hearts at that very moment: Shikamaru for me, Naruto for Hinata, Sasuke (and possibly Naruto) in Sakura's case, and Tenten...I didn't know. Maybe Neji. They'd be cute together.

A new conversation topic! Finally, somebody else would be in the hot seat. "So, Tenten, what's up with you and Neji?"

Sakura squealed while Hinata gasped. Smugly, Sakura nudged the reddening girl. "_Yeah_, Tenten, what's up with you two?"

"Nothing!" Tenten scowled. "We're just teammates."

"Teammates," I agreed unconvincingly. "_Just teammates_."

She turned her laser-beams on me. "Don't you dare twist my words."

"I'm not doing any twisting," I said as innocuously as I could. "Not me."

"Well, I think you two could be adorable together," Sakura announced. "Why not go out on a date?"

Tenten spluttered, her eyes wide. "A date? You can't possibly believe that _Neji _of all people will go on a date, least of all with me."

It got quiet again. "True," I was forced to admit, "but if he likes you-"

"Then it's Neji-niisan's choice to ask her out, and Tenten's choice to accept." Hinata's voice was firm. "End of story." She intercepted the grateful look Tenten flashed her lithely.

"Aw, you're no fun," I complained, sitting back. "What about you, Hinata? You're obviously still pining after that idiot Naruto, but have you thought about anyone else?"

Though she blushed, Hinata shook her head resolutely. "Never."

"That's no fun." I sulked, while Sakura laughed softly.

"You sounded like Ino for a minute there," she explained when I shot her a puzzled look.

"Did I?" I smiled too. "I guess she's rubbing off on me." Then, we all sighed. "I miss her."

"Me, too," Sakura agreed.

"Come on guys," Tenten urged as she tried to be uplifting. "We're not here to mope! Let's talk about something fun!"

"Ah!" I sat up as a thought occurred to me. "Actually, I'd wanted to ask you all a favor…"

* * *

><p>"Well, we'll be sorry to see you leave," the head of the cryptanalysis squad said as he accepted my transfer letter. "Do come and visit sometime, will you?"<p>

I nodded. "If you're in need of help, just drop me a line and I'll do my best."

One of the girls in the squad, Shiho, poked her head in the door. "Oh, where are you going, Suzume-san?"

"Shiho-san!" I smiled. "I'm actually transferring to the healing division as of today."

"Oh, why?" she asked. I didn't exactly mind her probing, though it was a bit unnerving since we didn't know each other too well. However, she was a sweet girl, so I didn't get mad.

"I want to fight on the battlefield," I stated simply. "I love decrypting messages and taking care of the courier birds, but…I want to be more hands-on, you know?" _I want to catch up to Shikamaru._

"That's great!" Shiho smiled, though I couldn't see her eyes through her spiral-y glasses. "Have fun, and do come by to visit sometime!"

"Thanks! See you around!" I called as I ducked through the door.

Now…time to get to work.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Surprised? Unsurprised? Well, you might be in the next-next chapter... Leave a review and let me know!

**Question of the Chapter: Do you think Shikamaru will accept her confession? (Read on to chapter 9 to find out!)**


	9. No Time Like Showtime

_No Time Like Showtime_

Becoming a field medic was harder than I'd thought.

With Sakura as my teacher, I should have expected a huge load of stuff to do. She didn't disappoint: I left the hospital with a list of books to check out from the library and memorize, as well as another lengthy list of herbs I needed to find at the botanical gardens. Not only that, but in the words of Sakura-shishou (as I now was forced to call her, to my obvious chagrin): "Your chakra control sucks. You're going to have to work on it if you want to get deployed on any real field mission work."

_Ouch._ She left me writhing internally with a curt, "Memorize everything in those books. I'm going to give you a pop quiz tomorrow, and you'd better know the properties of those herbs _and_ tell them by touch and smell blindfolded. Your chakra control should also improve by the end of the week—I recommend practicing on dead fish."

I mapped out a quick study plan: first, I'd head to the library and cram as much information as I could into my head for an hour. Afterwards was lunch, and then I would go to train with Tenten. Hinata promised to help me with chakra control when she had time as well.

_So off to the library we go._

The library, fortunately, was located only a few blocks away from where I was. The hot summer air was awfully stifling, so I felt a great sense of relief when the library's extreme air conditioning blew into my face. A nice respite with some watermelon juice sounded heavenly, but I knew I had to get to work.

Surprisingly, even though I'd lived in Konoha for half of a year now, I still had not yet paid the library a visit. Determined to make acquaintances with the librarian, I strode up to the desk and presented the boy there with my list of books. He shocked me a bit when he looked up: young, maybe only 17 or 18, he was a studious looking boy with glasses perched on his nose.

He smiled—his name tag read "Yuki". Somehow, I had a feeling that he'd gotten his name due to his shocking head of white hair.

"Hi, I'm Yuki," he said, grinning. "Can I help you?"

"I'm Suzume." I returned his smile. "I have this huge list of books here to find, and it's my first time here, so I was wondering if you could help me out…"

He plucked the list from my hand and whistled. "Wow. Training to be a medic nin?"

"How'd you know?" I asked, surprised.

"Read this exact list of books when I was training to be a field medic myself." Yuki laughed at my shocked face. "Come on, the library's not too busy now so I'll help you reach the top shelves." He stood, and true to his word, he was two heads taller than me. Taller than Shikamaru, even.

"Thanks," I whispered. "That helps out a lot."

"No problem." Yuki led me around an armchair and up to the second floor. "Let's see..._The Study of Plants and Their Medicinal Properties_. This one's an awful bore, let me tell you, but it's chock full of information that you absolutely need to know." He plucked it from its place on a shelf and handed it to me before proceeding to select five more tomes and add them to my pile. "Are you new here?"

"Ah, no," I grunted as he added a particularly thick book, "I've been here for a little over six months but never really—ugh—got the chance to visit." The last word came out as an embarrassing squeak, and Yuki glanced at my stack curiously.

"Already weighed down? Come on, you won't be a medic nin if you can't even handle carrying _books_."

I scowled. "I'm _not_ weak!"

"Sure. Come on, let's go back down to the second floor."

Grumbling under my breath, I carefully maneuvered my large stack of books as I descended the stairs, one step at a time. "A little help here?" I asked sarcastically at Yuki, who was watching me from the bottom.

"Training," he replied easily.

More grumbling ensued.

Ten minutes later, I was sitting at a table with two gigantic piles of books and Yuki in the adjacent seat. "Well, how do you think I should approach this?" I asked, picking a book at random and thumbing through it.

"How good are you at memorizing?"

"Boss status." Courtesy of more than a few late-night cramming sessions at the Academy and when I was being trained for Intel and Cryptanalysis.

"Good. Start with terminology and anatomy, and then memorize all of the terms _and_ their definitions. Move onto different maladies and their symptoms, and then books on medical ninjutsu. End with the ones on herbs, and directly afterwards go to the botanical garden and actually see them in real life. _Make sure you know them like the back of your hand._" Yuki's serious face disappeared, and he smiled brightly again. "That's it!"

"That's it? That's _it_?" I echoed in disbelief. "How long do you think that's going to _take_ me?"

Yuki's smile didn't falter, but I thought I saw a faintly vindictive look in his eyes. "Better get started."

"Uuuuuugh…" I allowed myself to slam my head _once_ on the desk before I cracked open the first of the books.

_The study of medicine is an extremely complex subject and requires concentration, diligence, and motivation…_

Great. This was going to be such a blast.

* * *

><p>Sweat was pouring off of me in buckets by the time Tenten was done with me. I'd ended up skipping lunch and sped straight from the library to the training grounds.<p>

"So…" I panted, "how did I do?"

Tenten folded her arms and studied me speculatively. "Do you want me to be honest or nice?"

"Honest." I braced myself for the worst.

"Alrighty, so for starters, you're horribly out of shape. You need some major conditioning: ten miles per day, kunai training, and hand-to-hand combat. You could ask Guy-sensei; he's always willing to help." She scratched her chin. "But you're not bad, really, I can tell. You just need to get back into training every day."

_Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh._

* * *

><p>There was no way the day was long enough for everything I had to do today. Inwardly, I wished that I had a time machine or something, so I could rest and take a nice 2-hour nap before I had to work again.<p>

I felt exhausted and drained, and I was only through five books out of the eighteen I needed to read. It was already well past lunchtime, and my stomach was starting to ache, especially from exertion. Immediately, I made a bee-line towards the nearest eatery and ordered the first thing I saw on the menu before cracking my book open again.

"Training to be a medical ninja?" a voice rang from beside me.

I looked up, annoyed. What _now_?

It was a large, oldish man with a huge, huge mane of white hair—similar to Yuki's but much more unkempt. He had a mole on his nose and a big, leering smile on his face.

"Uh, yes." Dismissing him curtly, I turned back to my book, mouthing the words silently.

Unfortunately, he persisted in trying to talk to me. "Are you having any problems? I'm a good friend of the Hokage's."

"Yeah, right, old man." I didn't see the point of being polite anymore, especially when I caught him taking a not-so-subtle peek at my décolletage, which was honestly offending, because he had a disappointed look on his face right after. _Well, sorry I'm not your typical busty beauty, you old lecher._ "Please leave me alone."

"Whoa there, Sparky, I don't mean any harm," the old man tried to abate me. "And for your information, I was telling the truth."

"Mmhm, sure." My lunch, a hearty helping of katsudon, was set in front of me, and I dug in eagerly. The crispy meat crunched satisfactorily in my mouth. I chased it down with some rice and a long sip of tea.

"I'm guessing you have trouble with chakra control?"

Immediately, I set my chopsticks down and turned to face the smug old man. "How'd you guess?"

"You have an awful temper and you seem to be out of shape. Doesn't take much to guess." So the old man was pretty skilled. Obviously he knew what was running through my mind, because he grinned and extended his hand to shake. "I'm Jiraiya."

"Suzume." I accepted the handshake. "So, Jiraiya-san, any tips?"

"To execute chakra control, you need to have a good handle on your surroundings even without sight. You need to feel the earth through your fingertips, and you need to be able to do all of this while doing, say, a handstand over a lake."

My eyes probably bugged out, because he chortled. "It's not as hard as it sounds when you get the hang of it."

"Key word: _when_." I scarfed down the rest of the meal and chugged down the buckwheat tea that came with it. "Look, I don't mean to sound forward, but I was wondering if you had any time to-?"

Jiraiya-san's grin stretched to unimaginable proportions. "No problem. An old man like me gets bored when his student's off doing who knows what, you know. I can spare some time."

Setting some money on the counter, I hopped off the stool in the restaurant. "Do you have time right now?"

"Sure, why not—that is, for a small favor…" Jiraiya-san leered up at me. "Can you sneak me into the women's section of the hot springs?"

I just stared before slapping him. "You should go to jail for that."

* * *

><p>Finally, I was back at home, roasting at my desk with my books. Jiraiya-san's training was much harder than I'd expected, and it was difficult to concentrate on the environment, much less <em>not<em> fall into the water. (I ended up giving myself a good dunk in the lake. Twenty-six dunks, in fact.) By the time Jiraiya-san said I was done for the day, my arms and legs were trembling from exhaustion, and I was soaked through to the skin.

The only thing I wanted to do at this point was _sleep_, but it was almost dinnertime and I still needed to study and go to the botanical gardens. Deciding to read as I walked to a dango stand, I bought a large boxful of the treat and chewed my way through it while I strode to the gardens. Thankfully, I'd had the foresight to bring a large backpack before I had gone to the library so I didn't have to juggle books as I walked around Konoha.

The keeper of the gardens instantly recognized me as a prospective medic and told me wisely, "If you need to stay over, there are sleeping bags in the back room in the greenhouse."

"Thanks," I yawned, feeling tired already but unwilling to tucker out just yet. Rummaging through my backpack for the first of four books on medicinal plants, I flipped it open to the first page and got to work.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next day with my cheek firmly planted in the dirt. Yawning, I got up and checked the time: 6:06 in the morning. No doubt I looked like a complete mess.<p>

"Oh, gosh…" Attempting to stretch out a kink in my back, I winced as I stumbled to the nearest drinking fountain to wash my face and mouth. Everything ached. Even my bones ached. How could bones ache?

When I was finished freshening up, I decided to start over to the hospital.

_There's no time like showtime._

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Shikamaru will be back in the next chapter! I'm working on it right now... and it's going to be interesting! After Chapter 9, there will be a MAJOR timeskip to about five years later-so The Shinobi Wars will be over, and everyone will be 21. :) Things will have changed for sure.


	10. Cockroach

_Cockroach_

It had been a week since my first pop quiz had gone successfully. Apparently my rad memorizing skills hadn't deteriorated as easily as my other spiffy shinobi abilities had, though Sakura did compliment me on my improvement in chakra control.

If my aches and pains had anything to prove, it was that Jiraiya-san was much, much more skilled than his lecherous demeanor connoted. Despite his perverted tendencies (I often had to pull his ogling eyes away from the buxom beauties that passed by while we were training), Jiraiya-san was definitely one of the best teachers I'd had. My chakra control had definitely gotten better over the span of the week, and in addition to Tenten and Hinata's help, my old shinobi reflexes were almost back. (He had, however, disappeared mysteriously after the end of the week before I could say thank you.)

Sakura now had me working full-time in the hospital to train me before I was able to be dispatched onto missions. I worked in the birth center, which actually wasn't worth the hype; a lot of the times it was loud (from either mothers-to-be in labor or squalling babies), and I figured that, hey, one day I'd be going through this kind of pain too, so why go through it now? But gosh, the infants were adorable. There were lots of stinky diapers and messes to be cleaned, as well as irate parents to deal with, but at least it was better than the division with terminal patients.

Ironically that was the division Yuki was stationed in. He described it to me as a sunny place but full of death. Somehow, even the thought of it made a sour pit form in the bottom of my stomach.

The sun was setting and I was on call again, this time to help deliver a baby for the first time. Before, I helped out with the post-birthing stage and took care of the infants. I wasn't allowed to do the actual delivering, of course; that was the head medic's job. However, I was able to provide backup and help clean the baby, etc.

Before I left, I went to chug some OJ and pop a piece of untoasted bread in my mouth (the toaster still hated me). Then, just as I turned to leave the apartment, the door opened, almost hitting me in the face. I took a step back quickly before I realized just what this situation was.

_Shikamaru's back._

Shikamaru's back, Shikamaru's back, Shikamaru's back!

The growing smile on my face quickly turned into a frown. _Aaaaaaand I confessed to him before he left. So it's confrontation time._

"Ah…" Shikamaru broke the silence first. "I'm back."

It seemed only right to say, "Welcome home." And that there was orange juice in the fridge, though I conveniently kept out the fact that I'd just chugged it from the carton.

Silence.

My mind was whirling from the countless possibilities that I could take:

_Option 1._ Confrontation. Get the situation resolved as quickly as possible. (Negative. No time, plus I really don't want to.)

_Option 2._ Pretend nothing ever happened. (Negative. He'll get mad, and I'll be back at Square One. No, more like Square Negative One.)

_Option 3._ Run away. (Positive. I really need to go, anyway.)

"Sorry, Shikamaru," I said as I shouldered past him, "I really need to run—I'm on call."

"What? On call?" I heard him ask, bewildered, before I jumped off the apartment's outside railing and his words were lost in the wind.

_Crisis avoided…for now._

* * *

><p>"It's a healthy baby girl, ma'am!" I almost cheered and clapped my hands after a particularly irate woman finally gave birth. Not that it wasn't a celebratory event, but really, that woman was a real pain in the butt. I was a <em>medic<em>, not a gofer.

I couldn't wait for her to scoot and _leave me in peace_.

Not the exemplary attitude for a medic to take, but still.

The head medic handed the baby to me, and I cradled the tiny infant gingerly, not minding the blood that got onto my scrubs. "Time to take a bath," I whispered to the alert baby, who stared up at me with her huge brown eyes.

_Aaaaaaaaaaaaawwww._

Supporting her head with my hand and laying her gently in a tub of warm water, I used a soft towel to wash the blood off the infant's body. "What'll her name be, Dad?" I asked the father conversationally.

He stood next to me, smiling at his little girl. "Koyuki."

"Koyuki," I repeated. "That's a nice name."

Koyuki gurgled as I swabbed her head gently with the towel. "Welcome to the world, Koyuki," I murmured to her. "Happy birthday, you little nugget."

"Did you just call my baby a _nugget_?" the blasted mother yelled from behind me.

"Of course not, ma'am," I replied smoothly, "She's darling—she has your eyes." Which was the truth, but meant to be used as a distractor.

It worked, because I heard the Holier-Than-Thou Queen Mother emit a satisfied humph as she sat back on her pillows.

Wrapping baby Koyuki in a pink flannel blanket, I placed her carefully into her father's arms. "Congratulations."

_I'm finally done._

* * *

><p>I was practically dead on my feet before I had changed out of my scrubs and back into my regular clothes. A quick check on my watch told me that it was after twelve midnight already.<p>

Going home, taking a hot bath, and popping open a cold bottle of milk seemed like heaven… Happily, I skipped down the steps of the hospital, eager to get back to the apartment before it got any darker than it already was.

I froze as a thought occurred to me.

_That's right. SHIKAMARU'S BACK._

Instantly, my brain went on hyper-freak-out mode. _WHATDOIDOWHATDOIDO_

"Oof!" I stumbled forward when something collided into my back. "Excuse me?" I snapped, whirling backwards to find… "Yuki?"

Yuki was swaying on his feet, clearly exhausted. "Sorry," he mumbled, his speech slurred and his eyes hazy. "Fourteen-hour shift today. Emergency room. Tuckered out."

"No kidding," I muttered, amazed. "You're looking really pale; come on, lean on me. I'll walk you back to your place."

"S'okay," he mumbled. "I can get back…on my own…"

Reaching upwards on my tiptoes, I pinched Yuki's cheek—hard. "Don't die on me, Yuki. Hurry up and give me directions before you totally pass out."

"I'm fine," he insisted. _Obstinate guy._

"No, you're not!" My voice got piercingly loud, which was apparently a good thing because he jerked awake.

"Who are you?"

We both turned to a new voice. I paled, and then flushed a heated red. Yuki, on the other hand, just looked at the intruder, confused.

Shikamaru stood before us, his hands stuck in his pockets and his eyes clearly sizing up the situation. Mortified, I could only imagine what we looked like.

"Shikamaru, it's not what you think—oh God, Yuki, please don't pass out, I can't hold you up by myself." I squeaked as Yuki swayed again and almost collapsed.

With an annoyed look at me, and then at Yuki, Shikamaru strode forward in two easy steps to relieve me of my burden. "Where do we go?" he asked bluntly.

"I…I don't know," I admitted. "He passed out before I could ask."

Shikamaru glanced at the boy leaning on his shoulder, who was currently out cold. "Can we just dump this guy in a 24-hour café somewhere?" He yawned, his jaw cracking loudly. "This is such a pain."

"Of course not!" I snapped indignantly. "Yuki's my friend! He can…he can sleep in my bed for tonight. I'll take the couch."

Shikamaru's lips pinched together, and I realized belatedly that maybe he wanted to just go home and sleep in peace. "I promise he won't bother you," I pleaded, "and I know you're tired, but he just had a fourteen-hour shift and I just helped deliver a baby and groveled for one of the most persnickety mothers in the universe, so it'd really be nice if we could continue our argument tomorrow."

"Fine." His response was gruff, reluctant, and abrasive.

I winced but nodded. "Thanks, Shikamaru. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He continued walking through the night.

We didn't speak all the way to the apartment.

After dumping Yuki unceremoniously onto the couch (one look from him quelled any argument that bubbled up in my throat), Shikamaru turned and folded his arms. "Mind enlightening me?"

"Enlightening you…of what?" I asked, trying hard to stifle an incoming yawn. It didn't work.

"For starters, why the hell is some unidentified male snoring on my couch in my house?" Shikamaru snapped.

I bristled instantly. "Firstly, this is a shared lease, secondly, his name is Yuki and he's my friend, and thirdly, he's kind of out cold, so it's not like I can dump him on a park bench somewhere!" Yuki snorted loudly, and I hurriedly lowered my voice. "I'll get him back to his house tomorrow morning ASAP, I promise. It won't ever happen again."

Shikamaru studied me carefully before nodding once, shortly. "I don't want to see him by the time I wake up for breakfast. And you owe me." With that, he retreated back to his room and shut his door.

_Geez, that was some stick up his butt._

Sighing, I went to scavenge for a blanket to pull over Yuki before shuffling into my room. The bath would be traded for a much-needed night of rest. Shower tomorrow.

I had just changed into my pajamas and settled into my bed when I remembered:

_I still haven't gotten my answer yet._

_Now? _I asked myself.

_Now._

Tossing the covers off my body, I raced to knock rapidly on Shikamaru's door. I could hear a distinct groan, and then covers rustling. Then:

"What?"

I swallowed. "Uh—I—_don't open the door!_" Ferociously, I held the knob shut as it started to turn; abruptly, the force behind the door was gone.

"Um. I, uh, just wanted to say, um, welcome back—"

"I'd really like to go to sleep in the next year or so," Shikamaru yawned tetchily.

"Have you thought about it?" I blurted out in one go.

The yawns halted instantly.

"…Yes."

I held my breath, waiting in anticipation.

"…I'm still…" Shikamaru's voice was soft, halting. "I'm still not…ready. It's not the time…and I'm not interested in that kind of stuff." There was a long pause before he mumbled, "Sorry."

My shoulders sagged, and I stepped backwards, away from the door. The wooden planks beneath my feet creaked, and I bit my lip hard. "I understand. Thank you." My hand flew up to press against my mouth, muffling a whimper. "Good night."

I fled into my room, shutting the door hastily.

_I knew it wasn't going to work out. But why? I thought…I thought…_

_That maybe he liked me back._

_Obviously not._

Walking slowly over to my bed, I picked up my pillow and squashed my face in it.

_Waterfalls, do your worst._

* * *

><p>I woke up promptly at six, alert and ready to face the day. Mornings started off with a five-mile run, and on the way back I would pick up breakfast.<p>

Then, I remembered the whirlwinds events of last night. Wiping away the vestiges of crusty tears on my cheeks, I coughed and hurriedly began dressing in an attempt to busy myself from thinking.

A futile effort, because the moment I stepped out of my door, I remembered with a pang: _Yuki's here._

What was I supposed to do? I promised Shikamaru I'd get him out first thing in the morning, but considering that we got home at 12:30am, he'd barely gotten six hours of sleep.

I snuck a look back at Shikamaru's closed door, trying not to feel the way my heart panged at the thought of his rejection. _How am I going to face him now?_ I needed to talk to Sakura. Or even better, Ino. She'd understand.

But first…

I turned back to Yuki. _Maybe Shikamaru won't mind if I let him stay for a little longer._

Making up my mind, I jogged out the door without looking back.

* * *

><p>"Yeah, so, now I'm not sure what to do!" I wailed not-so-quietly to Ino, who was busy watering the flowers in her family's shop.<p>

She frowned contemplatively. "That would explain why he got so quiet when we returned. I thought it was because of Asuma-sensei, but maybe not entirely…"

I heaved a huge sigh. "And he got so mad when I asked to bring Yuki home—and then he rejected me."

Ino's head snapped up. "Yuki? Who's Yuki?"

"My friend." It seemed as if I couldn't stop sighing today. "He passed out and I didn't know where his house was, so I wanted to bring him home, but Shikamaru got so PO'ed in the end because he had to carry him all the way back to the apartment."

"Hmm…" Ino muttered, setting down the watering can. "Well, I'll talk to Shikamaru later today and see what I can find. In the meantime, you might want to scoot before Shikamaru wakes up—it's almost seven."

_Uh-oh._ I almost flew back to the house.

* * *

><p><em>Uh-oh<em> wasn't even accurate enough to describe the current situation.

Both Yuki and Shikamaru had woken and were currently sizing each other up—Shikamaru standing in the hallway, and Yuki still sitting on the couch. When the door opened, both of their heads snapped around to look towards the door. Yuki's eyes focused on me, and he smiled gently. "Sorry for the trouble, Suzume."

"It's not a big deal," I mumbled, panting slightly and slick with sweat. I had taken a shortcut to get back to the apartment as quickly as possible, but that required running across roofs, which isn't as easy as it looks.

I lifted a plastic bag filled with fresh fruits and vegetables. "Uh, would you like some—"

"Is this your boyfriend?" Yuki blurted out, his eyes flickering not-so-subtly to Shikamaru, whose unusually menacing figure still stood in the hallway, watching him. Watching us.

The words were hard to get out. "…This is my roommate, Shikamaru. Shikamaru, this is…Yuki."

Yuki's smile was relieved, but it did nothing to assuage the turmoil in my chest. I had a bad feeling about this. "Sorry for meeting you like this…I'm Shizuka Yuki; Suzume and I work at the hospital together."

"Hospital?" Shikamaru finally spoke, his eyes flickering to me. He looked away when we made eye contact. "Since when did you work at the hospital?"

"Since last week," I murmured, busying myself by setting out the fruit. "I transferred after you…left."

The silence that hung in the room afterwards was deafening.

I swallowed, feeling an inherent need to make some kind of conversation. "Um…we should…go, Yuki. Shikamaru, you can have the fruit for breakfast." Grabbing Yuki's elbow, I dragged him into the foyer as I stuffed my feet back into my shoes.

Making eye contact was virtually impossible at this point.

By the time we had walked two or three blocks from the apartment, Yuki stopped me. "Mind explaining what happened in there?"

I swallowed. "Not really."

He raised an eyebrow. "I _think_ I deserve to know, Suzume." Yuki continued to stare at me as I shoved my hands in my pockets, eyes boring holes into my shoes.

Finally, I heaved a long sigh. "Promise you won't tell."

The boy in front of me rolled his eyes. "Do I look like I spill secrets left and right?"

"Promise!" I insisted stubbornly. "On your firstborn child!"

"Geez, is it _that_ serious?" Sighing, Yuki scratched his head sleepily. "All right, on my firstborn child. This had better be worth it," he grumbled.

The words came out fast and interconnected: "Iconfessedtohim."

"What?" Clearly he was confused.

I forced the words to unstick as I mumbled it again: "I confessed…_to him…_"

"_Oh._" Even Yuki had the decency to look embarrassed. "Sorry, I didn't think—I mean, I totally get why he was so mad, especially when—"

"No!" I leaped to clear up the misunderstanding. "No, he rejected me. Last night." I swallowed deeply again, trying to unclog my throat. "So it's really, really…awkward." Embarrassingly, my voice cracked on the last word.

"Aw, don't cry, it's not that big of a deal," Yuki attempted to soothe me, "he'll regret it in a couple of years, I promise."

"It _is_ a big deal!" I wailed, throwing my hands up in the air. "He's the first person I ever confessed to, and he's one of my best friends, _and_ he's my roommate so how am I supposed to face him? I wish I'd never confessed to him in the first place!"

"You're overreacting," Yuki reprimanded sternly. "If he's the type of uncaring bastard I think he is, then he won't care a mite about this. Just pretend it never happened."

"But it _did_ happen!" I was getting more and more agitated by the minute. "I won't be able to _live_ with him if this continues!"

"Then don't."

Yuki's answer was so blunt that I had to stop to think about what he'd just said.

"What?"

"Don't live with him anymore," he said simply. "Move out."

"But—but it's only been a couple of months or so!" I protested. "I can't do that—besides, where would I go?"

"You could live with me," Yuki proposed. "My place is big enough for two."

I was struck silent by this suggestion. "I don't know…after this, I'm not sure if I should be rooming with any more boys."

He shrugged, sticking his hands into his pockets and trudging onwards. "I'll get back to my place from here. Just…think about it, all right?"

"Yeah…" I sighed. _If only things were that easy._

* * *

><p>To my surprise, Shikamaru was the one who had brought it up first. "I'm moving out."<p>

My head snapped up. "What?"

He repeated what he'd said patiently. "My mom's being a busybody again and wants me back at home. So if you want the apartment still, you can stay. The landlady said she'll give it to you at the same price, and you'll get an extra room to use."

I was struck dumb by his proposition. Would it really be this easy to get out of this awful situation?

But Shikamaru was moving out.

Wouldn't it be lonely?

Yes. But it'll be even worse with him here.

_Get over it, Suzume. One rejection isn't going to knock you down forever._

_Be a cockroach. A cockroach that will never die, no matter how much you try to kill it._

It was a bad image, but the analogy worked to boost my self-esteem. I took a deep breath. "Okay."

He seemed a little relieved at my assent. "Great. I'm moving out tomorrow."

_I hadn't even gotten the chance to show him my new skills._

* * *

><p><strong>Roommate Wanted<strong>

**Clean, spacious two-bedroom, one bath apartment!**

**Located near center of Konoha, near fresh farmers' market.**

**Beautiful sunset view.**

**Females only. Shinobi preferred.**

**If interested, call Ayakawa Suzume at XX-XXXX-XXXX.**

* * *

><p>"Yo, Suzume!"<p>

"Tenten! How are you?"

"Great, great—listen, I heard that you were looking for a new roommate…"

"Yeah, I am. Why?"

"See here, my landlord's getting fussy about all my weapons, and I need to move to someplace with more space…"

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading! Reviews are much appreciated.<strong>

**On a similar note, I want to give a BIG thank you to the follows and favorites, as well as my lovely reviewers muzikchic4eva and DrummerForTheMasses! You two are the best! :)**


	11. All Grown Up

Wow everyone! Thanks for the support, faves, and alerts! Special shoutout to **muzikchic4eva, Insanity-Fun, and 10th Squad 3rd Seat**!

Again, after reading this chapter, please drop a **review** for me!

**IMPORTANT NOTE: Everyone is at this point 21+. You will see changes in their characters; most everyone will be more mature, and there WILL be swearing.**

* * *

><p><em>All Grown Up<em>

**(After the war)**

Tsunade-sama examined my arm grimly. On the surface, it looked fine, but I knew better than anyone that I could barely feel the veins of chakra, much less control them, in my left arm anymore.

She sighed and let it go, turning her back on me. "You've fought well as a medic in the war. But I want you to transfer back to the Cryptanalysis Squad immediately." The Hokage looked backwards at me, her sharp stare piercing through my soul. "You are not to mold chakra unless in a true emergency, and even then, it is at your own risk. Remember that."

I swallowed, nodding.

The door closed, and I let the tears fall.

_Why me?_

* * *

><p><strong>5 Years Later<strong>

I cleared my throat as I stood in the dimly lit pub, a colorful cocktail raised in one hand. "Ahem. May I have your attention?"

"Cut the crap and get to the speech," Ino hollered, already slightly tipsy. Sakura chortled beside her, almost spitting up her vodka. Hinata, our designated sober-friend, laughed into her iced water.

I grinned. "To my wonderful roommate of five years, who has her ups and downs, but has nevertheless made me feel the safest that I've ever felt with her sharp, poky weapons. Thanks for bearing with my hysterics. Happy 21st Birthday, Tenten!"

We all clapped politely. "Now," Ino announced, her voice slurring, "let's all get _wasted_!"

On her cue, I downed the rest of my electric-blue cocktail while Ino and Sakura cheered. As a shinobi, it was rather embarrassing to get drunk and stumble around (I was already feeling dizzy on my stilettos), but hey: it was Tenten's 21st birthday. The first time she could legally drink some booze. So it was a cause for celebration…right?

Tenten eyed her drink dubiously and took a small sip. She screwed her face up adorably. "Ugh, this tastes disgusting!"

Ino rolled her eyes. "That's what they _all_ say at first, but just wait when you're recovering from a nasty heartbreak and all you have is a six-pack of beer. _Then_ you start getting addicted."

"Don't turn all alcoholic on me now," Sakura scolded. "As medics, we only condone getting drunk on…" she smiled slowly, "…special occasions."

"Such as heartbreak or birthdays. In this case, both!" Ino turned eagerly to me, her regular drinking partner (not exactly the exemplar form of propriety for field medics-though then again, I was now back as a cryptanalyst), and we clinked our shot glasses together. "Cheers to sleazy assholes."

"Cheers to cheating bastards." Down went the fiery liquid, as long as any lasting memory of Yuki.

Stupid Yuki. We'd gone out for a year before I unearthed his shady reputation as a playboy—as well as his two additional girlfriends on the side.

Dick.

"Anyway," I was slightly annoyed to find that my voice was slurring, "happy, happy birthday, Tenten…hope your relationships aren't as sucky as mine."

After my first heartbreak from Shikamaru, I'd gone on to date several guys. The first dumped me after he tried to have sex with me (and failed), the second was a mutual breakup (our relationship got too boring), and the third turned out to be gay, which was just an unfortunate end. Oh, and then there was Yuki, and we all know how that went down…

Yet I kept comparing them to Shikamaru. Gruff but kind Shikamaru, teasing Shikamaru, lethargic Shikamaru, brilliant Shikamaru.

I sighed. Why think about him now? _It's been five years and you're STILL avoiding him._

Ino had evidently lost her mind. "You know, you should—" she hiccupped, and we all laughed, "—really get back together with Shikamaru…"

_Great._

The pangs from hearing his name had dulled over the years, but never really faded. After he'd moved out, we'd barely come in contact again. I had a growing suspicion that he was trying to avoid me as much as I was trying to avoid him.

"We weren't _ever_ together," I reminded Ino, refilling my shot glass.

Sakura snorted, tossing her pink hair back flippantly. "If he wasn't a dumbass who rejected you, you'd probably be hitched now or something."

"Yeah, he'd probably regret it instantly the moment he saw you," Tenten added, smiling for some odd reason, like she was laughing inwardly. "You turned into one hot gal."

Hinata giggled as she firmly took my shot glass away. I moaned pitifully. "But we just started!"

"You get drunk too easily," she insisted. "Sober up and drink some water."

"But I don't wanna get sober," I wailed, thrashing around, "I wanna get _drunk_!" Ino and Sakura were laughing at me again over their cups. "Why're you _laughing_ at me?"

They shook their heads and continued laughing. I realized, dimly, that maybe they were laughing at something _behind_ me…

Like the genius I was, I turned around and began yelling, "What're you _looking_ at—"

My eyes widened.

"Shikamaru?" I blurted just before I regained my senses and ducked underneath the table.

Instant sobriety.

"What is he doing here?" I hissed underneath the table.

"Oh, I forgot, it's Kiba-kun's 21st in a couple of days, too. They must be celebrating," Hinata said, much too innocently.

"You-!" I sucked in my breath as I heard footsteps approaching. Hurriedly, I dove completely underneath the table, my head knocking onto the wood. I moaned but quickly clutched my head, scooting as far away from the outside of the table as I could.

_Please no please no please no…_

"Shikamaru! Choji! Everyone! What are _you_ doing here?" Ino's loud voice asked brightly.

_Dammit._

"Kiba's birthday."

I gulped. Shikamaru's voice had gotten deeper, huskier. Despite my fervent wishes, it sent a tingle down my spine.

_Oh no oh no oh no oh no…_

"What a coincidence, we're celebrating _my_ birthday, too!" I could hear Tenten's muffled but unmistakably jovial voice.

Suddenly, I was glad that Hinata had taken my glass away.

_This was a setup. There's no doubt about it. But why?_

They couldn't have thought about setting me and Shikamaru up—after all, after that disastrous rejection, there was no way—

…Right?

I tugged at Hinata's skirt as subtly as I could. "Give me a chance to escape. Bathroom. Five minutes."

Her hands reached under the table to pat mine gently. She cleared her throat. "Ino, I think we should…"

"…drink a couple rounds with you guys!" Ino finished.

I paled, tugging Hinata's skirt even more urgently. _What is that girl thinking?_

"But before that," Hinata interceded, "we're going to the bathroom." Her voice adopted a pointed edge to it. "_Now_."

The footsteps faded away, but my pounding heart didn't. "Suzume, you can come out now."

I popped my head out from underneath the table to glare at three very guilty looking cohorts. As well as three very sober cohorts. "You were never drunk!" I accused, scowling at Ino and Sakura.

They shrugged. "Bathroom?"

I nodded. "You have some major explaining to do."

* * *

><p>"<em>WHY?<em> Why would you set me up with _Shikamaru_? I'm _just_ getting out of a bad relationship, you know!"

Ino folded her arms obstinately. "Isn't this the perfect time, then? Shikamaru's turning into a total misanthrope—although he _did_ date that one girl once—and you need someone who can take care of you, unlike those dicks you dated. Shikamaru'll be good for you, and you'll be good for him—all we have to do is get the spark started."

"No. Nuh-uh." I mimicked her stance just as stubbornly. "Not under my watch."

Sakura moaned. "Come _on_, Suzume, at least give him a taste of what he missed five years ago!"

Hinata was washing her hands in the sink. "I take no part in this."

"For the birthday girl," Tenten pleaded. "It's my big twenty-one. Please?"

I hesitated.

The three evil wenches went in for the kill.

Finally, I sighed loudly. "All right. _Just this once._ What do I have to do?"

* * *

><p>I stepped outside to cool off. The night breeze would do me good.<p>

_Calm down, Suzume. You're just going to walk in and have a few drinks, then scoot back home. It won't be that bad._

Another deep breath. In and out.

I hadn't felt this nervous since the medic examinations.

_Oh God. Help me._

One more deep breath.

Inhale. _Whoooooooooooooosh._

Exhale. _Hoooooooooooooooooo._

I pushed open the door of the bar and adjusted my hair. Best foot forward.

Spotting Ino's blond hair immediately, I walked over to the table, which was now crammed with the girls _and_ Kiba's party guests.

"_Sway your hips! Make him drool for those legs!_" Ino's command rang in my head, and I complied as best I could. To be honest, I probably looked like a wobbly turkey, but from Ino's subtle thumbs up, I seemed to be doing all right.

_Is this called seduction?_ I wondered absently.

Although I hadn't seen him in about a year and a half (it's amazing how reclusive you can get in the cryptanalysis squad), I recognized Kiba by the little red triangles painted on his cheekbones. He whistled, his eyes visibly gliding over my body. Despite myself, I felt a flush paint my cheeks. "Hi there, beautiful. Do I know you?"

Sakura cackled maniacally next to Naruto, who seemed to be chugging down his beer rather well. "Don't be silly, Kiba, it's Suzume!"

Instinctively, I glanced to Shikamaru, who was glaring at me.

Well, he wasn't really glaring at me—it was his _intense concentration_ look, with his eyebrows furrowed together and his mouth quirked downwards into a sharp frown.

Instantly, my mind went into overdrive: _does he miss me? Does he not recognize me? What's he thinking?_

And as per the usual, I had no idea what was going on in that damned guy's mind.

"Suzume…?" Choji's face brightened. "Suzume! Haven't seen you in a while, bud!"

"Haven't seen _you_ in a while, either!" I instantly felt more relaxed at the sight of my not-so-pudgy friend's face. "Slimmed down quite a bit since the wars, haven't you?"

"Where were you stationed?" Kiba, who evidently recalled me, asked.

"I was at Intel near the beginning of the war," I recounted as I slid into the booth next to Sakura, "but they moved me to the medic division as an emergency measure. But now I'm back at cryptanalysis…for various reasons."

_Mainly because I can barely control my chakra without breaking my arms now._

I snuck another peek at Shikamaru.

He'd definitely gotten taller—much taller, and his shoulders were broader, too. Despite the stubble on his chin, however, he was still overall the same. Same sleepy gaze, same frown, same quietness.

That familiar look on his face that was still directed towards me. I shivered. _When is he going to look away?_

"Geez, I didn't recognize you when you came in!" Kiba was saying. "You filled out really well," he laughed appreciatively.

"Uh, thanks?" I twiddled my thumbs furiously. With a hard twist, Sakura pinched my bare leg.

"_Act sexier_,_"_ she whispered.

"_How do I do that?"_ I muttered back. _"Besides, he hasn't stopped staring at me! What do I do?"_

"_Figure it out!_" She cleared her throat. "So, I think we should all catch up—it's been a while since we all hung out, and—"

Shikamaru's incessant glaring/staring was too much now. Heart palpitating in my chest, I stood abruptly. "Sorry guys, it was great seeing you all, but I have to get back to work—decrypting and...stuff. See you at home, Tenten. Get drunk, Kiba." I waved hurriedly before making a hasty exit, squirming under Ino, Sakura, and Tenten's sharp glares.

_I bailed. I totally just bailed._

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." I crouched down on the sidewalk, breathing hard. "I can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

Like an idiot, I stumbled backwards on my heels, stifling a scream as I tumbled down. Naruto leaped forward to help me up.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Roughly, he jerked me up. I swayed as the blood rushed from my head. "Relax. Breathe."

When I had calmed down, I glanced down at my heels, embarrassed. "Sorry. You shocked me." _Way to state the obvious._

"Let's talk?" he asked, leaning on the brick walls of the pub. I nodded hesitantly. We weren't exactly the best of friends back in the day, but because I hung out with Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and Tenten, we ended up chilling together, too. Seeing his puberty years caused me to see past his supposedly scary job occupation as the Kyuubi, and just hang out with him as a normal kid, so gradually, we fell into an easy, comfortable silence. It was just Naruto, after all. Then again, maybe I should have felt more honored and awed at his presence—after all, he _did_ save Konoha…and the whole world after the Shinobi Wars.

"So, you left kind of in a hurry," Naruto commented lightly. I winced: the man still didn't know how to approach things with tact.

Lamely, I shrugged and fingered the sequins on my party clutch. "Had stuff to do."

He almost snorted, but caught himself a little bit too late. "I think you and Shikamaru should be friends again."

I rolled my eyes. "He thinks I'm his creepy ex-roommate that had a crush on him." _Technically true. Except maybe the creepy part._

Naruto raised his eyebrows. "You really think that Shikamaru's like that?"

"Well…no," I admitted, "but it's still awkward!"

"It's only awkward _because_ you keep avoiding him," Naruto countered easily. "It's been five years, and you know that Shikamaru's not the type to care. Besides, he knew you better than that."

Sucking in my lower lip, I kicked at an errant pebble doubtfully. "I don't know…"

Propelling himself off the wall, Naruto turned back to the door. "Well, why don't you just try connecting with him again? I'm having a celebration party next Friday, my place. You should come."

"Why the party?" I asked, confused.

Naruto snickered, suddenly looking very much like a teenager again. "Let's just say…I'm finally getting the job promotion I've always wanted."

He left me musing over his sentence until it finally clicked:

"He _didn't_!"

* * *

><p><strong>Yesssssssss...Naruto's finally going to be Hokage! No, Tsunade's not dead, just retired.<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	12. Nicknames

**What's this? CONSECUTIVE UPDATES? YOU BET IT IS.**

**Reviews = Updates.**

**Major props to musikchic4eva and 10th Squad 3rd Seat!**

* * *

><p><em>Nicknames<em>

"Spam sandwiches?" I called down the hall.

Tenten's muffled voice rang out from somewhere within her room. "Sounds great!"

Between two horribly inept individuals that were monsters in the kitchen, Tenten and I had gradually found a way around our awful culinary skills—by cooking minimally and striking up a deal with our next-door neighbor, Asuka-san.

Asuka-san was a sweet, 40-something year old lady who had unfortunately lost both her husband and daughter in the war. Naturally, she came to adopt us as her honorary children, and somehow it became a ritual to eat dinner at her place. In exchange for a small remuneration, she made us packed lunches too. Tenten and I were the envy of our teammates (and in my case, my co-workers).

Today, Asuka-san was on a much-needed vacation, so Tenten and I were on our own. Since I wasn't bad at wielding a knife, I resolved to make spam sandwiches, which were so convenient that oftentimes Tenten and I found ourselves munching on them when we were too hungry for anything else.

Tenten finally burst out of her room, her giant scroll strapped to her back like always, reaching past me to grab one of the sandwiches. "Have a nice day," I called as she rushed out the door.

"You too," came her muffled reply.

She was leaving on a mission, and wouldn't be back for another week or so.

Involuntarily, my eyes were dragged to my left arm, which could very well have been dead, compared to the life and chakra flowing through my right arm.

Ever since the fray I'd gotten into during the War, I'd been unable to mold chakra and create jutsus. After the Shinobi won, I was sent to undergo a peaceful, almost civilian-like lifestyle in the Cryptanalysis division.

It wasn't as if I _didn't_ like being in the Cryptanalysis division…but I was envious. My taijutsu pretty much sucked, and I couldn't do anything to amplify my power like Sakura could, so when a Code Red was called, I was pretty much the same as a powerless civilian, sent off to the "safe region" unlike my friends, who immediately ran to help the others.

In fact, it was infuriating.

I hated being helpless.

Sighing, I tucked the sandwich into a plastic bag and shoved it into my purse. Time for another day.

* * *

><p>Shiho glanced up from her desk and smiled goofily. "Suzume! Good morning!"<p>

Half-expecting her to say something cheerful about the weather or how the birds were chirping, I forced a smile back and took a seat, grimly starting to dissemble the pile of ciphers that needed to be decoded. World peace also meant less need for coded messages, which also meant that I had less work to do and less things to distract myself with. "Morning."

"Isn't it just such a nice day today?" _Called it._

"Well, Konoha is known for its good weather," I shot back snidely, instantly regretting my snappish manners when Shiho's lips turned downward into a frown. "But you're right, it _is_ a nice day."

Back went the sunny smile.

Dammit, now I just felt guilty.

Slumping down, I dragged one of the large piles toward me and set to work decoding them. We had upgraded to a more modernized system, which used a computer database and a scanner. The coded message would be scanned and sent into the computer, which would automatically decode the message and send it to the "outbox". However, to keep our minds sharp, we were each allocated a digital stack at the end of the day to skim through and correct in case of mistakes.

Secretly, I hated this new system, because it was a lot faster.

Being someone who had a lot of time on her hands, coming to work meant biding my time by drawing on the windows and walls. It had all started in a funny way, really; I had finished my work early and decided to waste some time exploring in the basement, where one could find a lot of treasures and knickknacks without even really looking. I had stumbled upon a box of washable markers and decided to make use of it.

Akiyama, the head of the division, didn't know of my ailment, but was aware of my inability to stay still by myself, so he agreed to let me draw on the far window, as long as I didn't cover them up completely.

One thing led to another, and by the end of the day, the entire wall of windows were covered in my fanciful drawings—from a giant puffer fish to a kingdom living on a star.

Shiho eventually convinced Akiyama-san to let me move onto the little spaces on the walls between the bookshelves that held all our cipher books. There, I painstakingly drew little people or animals walking along the bookshelves: tripping, laughing, singing, and all.

I had finished covering the entire room in black marker yesterday—today, I would work on the ceiling. But first…work.

Halfway through my pile, I didn't look up an hour later when the door slid open. I heard Shiho's (loud) intake of breath, but I assumed absently that it was one of our members, Fujioka, wearing something horribly flamboyant again. (I swear, the kid had some kind of penchant for neon colors and feathers.)

So I kept on feeding the papers into the scanner.

Then I realized that the room was altogether _too quiet_. Not even Kouki, one of the most talkative people I'd ever met, was saying a word. And if it _was_ Fujioka coming in, Kouki would definitely have said something; after all, Fujioka was her cousin. (Thankfully, they did not share the same fashion sense.)

So it was someone else.

I looked up.

My heart jumped into my throat. And I almost spit out my coffee.

Coughing, I stood abruptly. "Shikamaru." Expletives filled my brain as I tugged at my leggings, wishing I'd taken care to wear something a bit more put together, and that my hair hadn't been pulled back in a half-assed bun.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, was standing in front of my desk, looking neat in his laid-back way as always. I noticed that he towered over me by a good head and a half.

"Uh…" I remembered Naruto's words from last night, "can I help you?" _Be friendly. Make an effort to connect._

He stuck his hands in his pockets nonchalantly. "Tsunade-sama sent me to get you."

_Tsunade-sama?_ Perhaps it was something serious.

I glanced at Shiho, who was currently busying herself with paperwork. "All right. Shiho, I'll come back when I'm done, all right?" She nodded distantly, eyes still glued onto the man before me.

_Oookay._ Rounding the table, I gathered my things (cardigan, purse, and house keys) before trotting over to the door, hyper-conscious of Shikamaru's presence at my side.

We had walked through the corridor in silence before I found it in myself to start up the conversation again. "So…what did she want to talk about?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I don't know. She wouldn't tell me."

"Ah." More silence. I couldn't help flashing a glare over to my right shoulder, where Shikamaru was. _Why is it always ME talking?_

Unfortunately, he intercepted the scowl and glanced over. "What?"

"It's your turn."

Clearly, he was puzzled.

"Conversation topic," I elaborated. "It's always me talking."

"Hmm." I thought that his lips almost quirked up into a smile, but I wasn't sure. His hands went into his pockets again. Something jingled within—I wondered what. Just as I was about to ask, he said, "It's changed."

Now it was _my_ turn to look confused. "What?"

"The cryptanalysis room. It didn't look so…happy before."

A sense of irony dawned on me; so he had noticed the drawings. The drawings that had sprouted from my own sullen unhappiness that, in his words, made a room look 'happier'.

I shrugged. "Just the product of several afternoons with nothing to do."

"I didn't know you could draw," he drawled as we continued our ascent to the Hokage's room.

Again, I lifted my shoulders and let them fall. "To be honest, I didn't either. It just happened, I guess."

We stopped at the Hokage's door. _Finally_. I lifted my hand to knock with relief.

"Come in." Tsunade-sama's voice, imperious as ever, rang out from within. Shikamaru opened the door for me, an action that wasn't missed by the Hokage's hawk-like eyes. She grinned at me, while I fidgeted, itching to say something snarky but afraid of overstepping my position.

"The reason I have called you here," Tsunade-sama said as Shikamaru joined me in the center of the room, "is because of _this_." She slid a flyer across the desk to us.

Pattering forward to pick it up, I read it aloud: "Sunflower Kindergarten, part-time employees needed?" My eyes widened. "You're not telling me—"

Shikamaru groaned. "_Why me_."

The Hokage had adopted a leering grin and folded her arms threateningly. "Shikaku and Kurenai specifically requested for you to work there—you've been slacking off recently, Shikamaru."

_Kurenai…?_ Suddenly, I thought of Asuma-san and smiled. _That's right, their daughter should be around that age now._ "Well, what about me? I don't have anything to do with that."

"Well, I'm retiring, which means that I'll have more time than ever. Also, I've heard reports from Akiyama that you've been having too much time on your hands as well. So I'm willing to offer you a compromise." Tsunade-sama folded her hands together on the desk. "I'll treat your condition in exchange."

"You can do that?" I gasped in disbelief. "Then why didn't you do that before?"

"Because I didn't have time to treat one person out of so many who were injured!" Tsunade-sama snapped. "Because our village had just survived the Fourth Great Shinobi War! Because we were war-ravaged!"

I shut up immediately. "Oh." Fidgeting, I twisted my shirt around my hand, embarrassed. "Even after all this time…is it salvageable?" I glanced at my left arm, limp and weak.

She nodded, her eyes softening considerably. "It's actually quite common for shinobi to overtax themselves in battle. I just have to reconnect all your chakra passages again—it's time consuming, but it's not difficult."

"Thank goodness." My breath went out in a whoosh.

Five years.

Five years of not being able to mold chakra.

Five years of being left behind.

Five years of not being sent on missions.

And now I was going to get a chance to get it all back.

"I'll do it."

* * *

><p>"Oi, Ice Cream."<p>

It took me a couple of minutes to figure out that Shikamaru was talking to me. We were walking to the kindergarten to introduce ourselves, and I'd noticed that Shikamaru had been brooding for a while.

"What, Pineapple?" I shot back, feeling slightly more comfortable around him than I had been that morning.

He smirked before sobering again. "Are you sick or something?"

"Sick?" I frowned. "No…"

_Ah, he's talking about my arm._

"It's nothing," I brushed it off quickly. "Just got into an accident during the war."

"Hm." He didn't sound convinced, but thankfully didn't press on the issue. "Ice cream?"

"What?" I asked, expecting him to ask another question.

He surprised me by laughing out loud. "No, I meant, did you want an ice cream." He pointed at a nearby ice cream stand.

Embarrassed, I covered my face with my hands, exhaling slowly. Finally, I lifted my head and smiled at him. "Only if you pay."

He stared at me for a couple of seconds before obligingly digging out his wallet from his back pocket. "You're going to eat me out of house and home."

Already skipping to the ice cream stand and figuring out which to buy (deluxe cone or triple decker sandwich?), I scowled. "I don't eat _that_ much!"

"Whatever you say."

We fell into a natural banter as we dug around in the ice cream man's icebox. Just like the old days.

Naruto was right, after all.

* * *

><p>"Only three months?" I asked in disbelief.<p>

Michiko, the owner of the kindergarten, nodded bashfully. "Yes—two of my teachers are off on maternity leave, but one of them will be back by the end of the three months, so you two will just have to come in until then."

I was a _little_ offended that the two of us equated to only one teacher, but nodded anyway. "Great! When do we start?"

"Tomorrow. We're a new kindergarten so there won't be too many kids, so just come by when you're done with your work." Michiko's sweet smile turned a bit icy when she glanced at Shikamaru. "Nara-san, please come by at seven in the morning."

"What?"

She looked over her glasses at him frigidly. "Your father's orders. If you would like to take it up with him, please do so."

I caught Shikamaru muttering something about "that damn old man" and snorted. He paused to glance over at me, his eyes dark. Jolting, I swallowed and felt my ears heat up.

He looked away.

I slapped myself inwardly. _You're supposed to be FRIENDS with him, not slobber all over him! What will he think of you now?_

Covertly, I glanced over at Shikamaru. He was tracing the rim of the teacup that Michiko had proffered to us with one calloused finger, his eyes intent on the tea within.

_Oh God._

Pure thoughts.

Pure thoughts.

Pure thoughts.

_Dammit._

* * *

><p>I found myself pacing the living room of the empty apartment an hour later, a carton of orange juice in hand.<p>

"It's been five years," I told myself. "Five years, and yet you _still_ can't seem to stop being attracted to him!" I chugged the carton furiously. "What's _wrong_ with you?"

Since I was talking to myself, I got no real answer.

"I can't believe this," I grumbled. "How can I still be so silly? So _infatuated_?"

Again, no answer.

_Time to find Ino._

* * *

><p>I hated the fact that she and Sakura were so pleased over this.<p>

"Isn't this what we _don't_ want to happen?" I demanded irritably. "Shikamaru already made his intentions clear five years ago."

"Past schmast." Ino waved her hand airily. "He was an idiot back then, and besides, things can change." She smirked at Sakura, who returned the sneaky grin.

"But I don't _want_ to push my feelings onto him again," I hissed through gritted teeth.

"You won't!" Sakura protested hurriedly. "Besides, _love_ is a good thing!"

"Love?" I spluttered over my glass of water. "Who said anything about _love_?"

"Well, it's been five years and you still like him, right?" Ino prodded.

Exasperated, I threw my hands up into the air. "I _have_ been dating other people, you know. And he's just attractive, that's all."

They just looked at me, unconvinced.

"It's true!"

Ino waved my arguments off. "Well, _I_ think he's into you."

I rolled my eyes. "Shikamaru's never 'into' anyone. He's practically asexual; I've just about given up on him."

Sakura smirked. "Want to test that theory?"

* * *

><p><strong>If anybody's wondering, everything is planned out spontaneously. I usually just sit down at the computer and type away until a semblance of a chapter comes up, and then I edit it.<strong>

**This particular chapter is UNEDITED, so forgive me for any weird mistakes. :(**

**Oh, and inspiration for the spontaneous kindergarten job comes from Gakuen Babysitter, which I just started reading today. Q_Q IT'S SO CUTE I WANNA DIE**

**[REVIEW]**

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	13. Party Time

**School has started once more, so sorry if this chapter was late. Mucho gracias to muzikchic4eva, 10th Squad 3rd Seat, Insanity-Fun, and MikaHimura, as well as all of the favorites and alerts!**

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><p><em>Party Time<em>

It was Friday afternoon, and I had asked to take off early at the kindergarten.

Michiko, ever eager to torture Shikamaru with the kids (as a Nara herself, she'd apparently been tasked to be his babysitter when they were younger, and was currently getting her revenge), agreed immediately. "Going somewhere special?" she asked, giggling as she bounced one of the younger kids on her hip. "A date?"

I swore I almost saw Shikamaru straighten in my peripheral vision. Then he reached to scratch his back.

My heart sank. _Damn Ino and Sakura for getting my hopes up._ I smiled wearily. "No, I'm going to a party tonight and my friends insisted on dressing me up." Not that I minded really; it was true that shinobi clothes were more comfortable for every day work, but I did like to dress up and feel pretty occasionally.

I leaned over to call to Shikamaru, "You're coming, right?"

He sighed. "Naruto would kill me if I didn't show my face."

My cell phone beeped—no doubt, it was Ino impatiently waiting in her room for me to show up. "I'll see you there, then. Bye, Michiko-san!" I made sure to keep my voice low, for it was naptime and the kids were sleeping.

She waved goodbye as I raced out of the kindergarten.

* * *

><p>"Okay, do you think this one looks better or this one?" Ino held up two dresses: one was a slinky red dress with tastefully added cut-outs, and the other was a strapless bodycon that looked like it was carved from a disco ball.<p>

Sakura rubbed her chin, scrutinizing each dress in turn. She had a cute mini skirt and blouse on, claiming that "it's just Naruto" and that she didn't really have to dress up all that much.

I was munching on some snacks and getting crumbs all over my own dress, which Ino picked out for me earlier that week. It was black and so soft, with glossy black sequins sewn over it. I liked the fact that it was long sleeved, scoop necked, and that it swooped down daringly in the back, leaving most of my back bare.

"Red one," I said immediately, usually the one to make the quickest decisions. "We're not clubbing, just a casual celebratory party with some drinks." Sakura nodded her assent.

"Okay," Ino agreed, "now for the shoes." She set out five pairs of her favorite high heels.

I rolled my eyes inwardly. "Black ones with the bows."

"Really? I like the glittery ones better," Sakura put in.

I shrugged; I liked black things better. I myself had chosen a pair of black patent pumps to go with my dress, and accessorized lightly with gold jewelry.

Ino ended up deciding on some equally red stilettos before she turned to me menacingly. "Suzume?"

Sighing, I leaned over to her makeup box and selected a tube of mascara, some eyeliner, and a red lipstick. "Good enough?"

"Smoky eye."

"No! They're a pain to do and an even bigger pain get off," I argued.

"We need to impress Shikamaru!" Sakura insisted.

Groaning, I leaned back until my head hit the couch. "That again? Look, he doesn't like me. I've watched him and I'm 99% sure. Plus," I grinned as I found the hole in their argument, "since when do you know what turns Shikamaru on?"

Ino and Sakura shared a look that I couldn't decipher—then, Ino slumped in defeat. "Fine. Since you're so adamant about it."

"_Thank_ you." With that, I gathered up the makeup and retreated into the bathroom.

* * *

><p>Naruto flung open the door even before we rang the doorbell. "Ino! Sakura-chan! Suzume! Welcome!"<p>

He'd seemed to have made an effort to clean up; his kitchen and living room was scattered with people, laughing and chatting. Ino immediately went to greet some of her friends while Sakura gravitated to Tsunade-sama, who was busy gorging herself on alcohol. I, on the other hand, managed to squeeze through the crowds to find Hinata.

Spotting her, I waved wildly. "Hinata!"

She had secured a seat on the couch next to Neji, who hovered over her protectively, as well as Kiba. Smiling brightly, she scooted over to make a small hole for me to perch on. I found myself pressed against Kiba, who grinned wolfishly when I fidgeted awkwardly.

"Hey there."

"Hey yourself," I replied back.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" He let his eyes linger on me longer than necessary.

Time to put a stop to this. "Kiba," I started, "I'm really not—"

"Shh." He stretched his arm over mine and leaned down, his breath ghosting my ear. Involuntarily, I shivered. "It's true that I think you're hot, but I'm really doing this as a favor to Ino and Sakura." He smirked. "Besides, I'm interested in Hinata."

I blushed—what a misunderstanding! And he liked Hinata! "You're a pretty damn good actor," I sulked, legions more comfortable now that the truth was out. "But why-?" Almost instantly, my brain connected all the dots, and I groaned. "Are you trying to get a rise out of Shikamaru? Because I'll tell you now, it's not going to work."

Kiba chuckled lowly. "Don't be so sure. Don't look!" He stopped me just as I was about to scan the room for the man. "He's pretending not to notice but he's completely aware of everyone in the room, including you—especially you. Now, we're going to test his limits."

I squeaked as he dragged his unusually warm hand down my bare back until it rested low on my hips, almost touching my butt. In fact, he was about two centimeters away from touching it.

Frowning, I pinched Kiba hard in the stomach. "Don't get too frisky, you," I warned. He winced but chuckled nonetheless, moving his hand upward but beginning to massage my back gently, drawing circles into my skin. It was nice, but it felt more like a professional masseuse's work rather than the work of seduction.

I was too curious now. "What's he doing now?"

Kiba's grin widened. "He's considering whether to make a move, and I think he's deciding not to. Probably because I'm a good at the core. It seems that we'll have to amp it up a notch." The dimples on his cheeks that showed when he smiled even bigger were my only warning.

His big, warm hands wrapping around my waist, Kiba lifted me so suddenly that I squealed in surprise, flapping rather clumsily until I landed, sprawled across his lap. "Don't worry," he whispered as he leaned close, tracing my cheek, "I'll play the bad guy."

What? I opened my mouth to ask what he meant when the voice above us both stilled me completely.  
>"Kiba."<p>

Winking at me, Kiba lifted his head to greet the incomer innocuously. "Shikamaru."

In a blink of an eye, Shikamaru had his hand around my arm and hauled me up and off Kiba's lap rather roughly. I stumbled in my heels, crashing into his chest, but he didn't budge. Instead, he grasped my shoulder and held me to him until I caught my balance again. Yet, he didn't let go.

"You're making a scene, Kiba." Shikamaru had a distinctly disgruntled look on his face. "Hinata, take better care of her." And with that, he removed his arm from me and stalked off.

Without a single word or look to me!

Kiba, Hinata, and I looked at each other.

"Damn, he's good."

* * *

><p>"Your plan failed," I told Sakura as I brushed by her to grab some beer, popping the cap off and taking a long, long sip. "Told you he didn't care for me. At least, not in that way."<p>

Sakura chewed her lower lip in frustration. "But that can't be! I mean, he—"

"Sakura, it's only been, what, a week since we've started talking again? You can't expect him to make the moves on me after only a week. Besides, he's Shikamaru," I reasoned, "which means that he's going to take ten times as long as an average human being."

She sighed, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "Maybe you're right."

I smiled, but not without some bitterness. "See? Now let's just relax and party." Another long drag from the bottle. "Where's Naruto? I still haven't properly congratulated him."

"Somewhere over there." Sakura waved towards the door. "I saw him go outside a while ago."

I trotted outside, but the outside corridor that led to the neighboring apartments was quite dark, only lit by the moonlight. I thought I saw a shadowy figure down the hallway and smiled. "Naruto? Is that you?" I laughed. "It's so dark out here, I can barely see anything."

Laughing, Naruto straightened and got closer.

Continuing to chatter on, I took a sip of the beer, feeling a lot woozier than I was supposed to. "Where are all the stars tonight?"

His face appeared gradually until I could see the faint outline of a smile. "I guess they're hiding behind some clouds or something." Together, we leaned over the porch with our beers, taking small sips infrequently.

"Well, congrats, Naruto," I said, "You're going to be a great Hokage."

He laughed. "Thanks for the support."

"Everyone loves you," I commented, "why wouldn't someone support you?"

Shrugging, Naruto paused to take a long draw from his bottle. "You'd be surprised."

There was a long silence before I murmured, "I took your advice, you know."

"Which one?"

"The one about Shikamaru."

"Ah." I could almost hear Naruto grin. "And how did it work out?"

"Good," I admitted. "We're friends again—at least I think so, but…"

The next Hokage took the words straight out of my mouth. "But you're not sure if he's going to be anything more."

"Precisely." I sighed. "But I don't know if it's some kind of twisted regret or revenge or whatever, or if I'm still harboring some feelings from when we were teens, or if I'm just in love with the 'what ifs'—or if it's really fate. If fate exists, that is," I amended, chuckling.

"It does," Naruto said abruptly. He seemed to be thinking deeply about something. "At least, for my parents, it was fate."

"Ya think?" I put my beer down. Enough drinking for today. "So, Mr. Hokage, give me some of your sage-like wisdom. Impart some of your wizened knowledge to this poor wandering soul."

Guffawing, Naruto had to pause to catch his breath before he sobered. "Give it some time. Time will help you sort out your feelings, and it will help him sort out his feelings. Remember, you've only seen each other for a week. Don't get hasty, now."

"I guess I got swept away by Ino and Sakura's antics," I admitted. "You're right—it is impossible."

"Not impossible," Naruto corrected. "In fact, there's a good chance that you both feel some mutual attraction to each other. But again, you both just need some time. Be patient."

Groaning, I leaned over the railing in disgust. "I hate being patient."

"Believe me, and this is coming from someone who was the most impatient guy in the world, patience is worth it." He paused, reflecting over his statement. "Usually."

We both snorted with laughter.

* * *

><p>(Shikamaru's POV)<p>

_Why am I here?_ I wondered to myself, dryly sipping a beer before putting it down on the counter. I wasn't a huge alcohol drinker, but in this case, it was either that or a carton of expired milk that Naruto still hadn't thrown away in the fridge. I sighed and picked the bottle up again.

I found myself surveying the room, searching-for who?

Ino? She was off blabbing away with a gaggle of girls I didn't recognize, nor wanted to.

Choji? Raiding the pantry, as usual.

No, that niggling feeling was still there-ah.

My eyes zeroed in on one figure in particular, and everything became clear in an instant. I heaved a long, suffering sigh. _Why._

Not noticing the lingering stares clinging to her bare back as she rushed along, Suzume seemed to be searching for someone as she ducked and weaved through the crowds. Silently, I watched as she found Hinata-and sat next to Kiba.

Kiba was no threat (_threat?_); he was good, and furthermore I was aware of his longtime interest in the princess of the Hyuga clan.

Yet for some reason, the smirk he deliberately administered to me as he ran his hand up and down Suzume's smooth, pale back was absolutely infuriating.

I didn't get angry easily-annoyed, yes. Irritated, absolutely. Furious? Never.

The last time I'd felt this way was when Asuma had died, but that maddening feeling of rage, I could satiate. I couldn't do anything about this.

So I watched sourly as Kiba inched closer and closer, leaning intimately into Suzume's ear, while she blushed and looked at him with awed, almost adoring eyes. She taunted him, pinching him tantalizingly as his hands wandered-I clenched the beer bottle reflexively.

_Shikamaru_, I chided myself, _Think. THINK._

I breathed deeply.

Kiba was a good friend. He was loud, brash, and blissfully oblivious of propriety and decorum, which often led him into trouble, but he was a good man in the end. Not only that, he had confided to me a number of times (often inebriated) that he had loved another for over the span of three years.  
><em>Logic<em>, I told myself firmly. _Think about logic._

My sanity snapped when Kiba threw another taunting smirk at me and deliberately tossed Suzume onto his lap. I couldn't help but notice the way her legs sprawled across the couch, the way her arms instantly looped around his neck, the sound of her squeal-a mix between a laugh and a shriek.

My feet carried me over to them without my comprehending it. Taking her arm, I deftly dragged her out of Kiba's insistent embrace and into my side. She was wobbly on those deathtraps of hers, stumbling into my side with a soft 'oof'. It hurt, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to let go.

Kiba was smug. Annoyingly smug.

I wasn't about to give him his victory. Pointedly removing my arm from Suzume's shoulders, I scolded Kiba and Hinata both coldly and walked away.

The space where Suzume used to be felt oddly empty.

* * *

><p>(Still Shikamaru)<p>

After a couple more drinks, it occurred to me that this was, obviously, Sakura and Ino's doing. This was the exact kind of harebrained idea that they would come up with.

Audibly, I groaned. Somehow, their involvement made me want to not date Suzume, even if my body-and possibly my subconscious-said differently.

As if on cue, Ino sauntered over with a determined look in her eye. I eyed the door bleakly-no, too far away. No time to escape.

"So, Suzume looks pretty hot tonight." She still doesn't know how to approach the situation lightly.

"Hm." Neither agreeing nor disagreeing, I swirled the remains of my beer, bored.

"A lot of guys have been chatting her up," she prodded. Did this girl not know when to give up?

"Hm." I repeated my noncommittal answer, though I already felt my hackles rising. Had she given into any of the advances? I had taken my eyes away from her for far too long.

Forcing myself not to turn around and look, I continued swishing my drink. I wasn't about to give Ino her satisfaction.

She frowned. "Don't you like her?"

I shrugged.

"For God's sake, Shikamaru, look at me and give me a straight answer!" Ino was exasperated now. "Are you interested or not? Tell me now so I can tell Suzume and stop leading her on?"

Leading her on?

I was struck silent as a new, difficult situation arose. If I said 'yes', I would be giving Ino her victory-something I didn't want to do. If I said 'no', then there would be no chance of entering into any kind of relationship with Suzume-also something I didn't want.

I settled for a vague answer that was an equivalent of a 'maybe'. "It's only been a week," I reminded Ino, "You're so pushy."

She pursed her lips, obviously irked but choosing not to aggravate herself further, for once. "But didn't you like her even before then?"

Another difficult situation.

Thinking about what I would've done five years ago, if Asuma hadn't died, I probably would have succumbed to my emotions and accepted-even returned-her advances. But he did die. And subsequently, a new dimension of the world was revealed to me.

Sarutobi Asuma was one of the strongest shinobi I knew, yet he wasn't strong enough, leaving his lover and unborn child to grieve at his tomb. Before, I had facilitated no interest in the opposite sex, content to leave it at 'just friends'.

Yet Suzume changed that.

It was subtle, at first; the itching sensation to touch her, to talk to her, to tease her, to wrap my arms around her and take a nice, long nap. Seemingly innocent thoughts.

Then they blossomed into something more, and once I realized how I felt about her, it was too late to go back. At first I attributed it to a petty surge of hormones, but no matter what, I somehow ended up trailing back to her.

Always her. An utterly unremarkable girl, who neither possessed extreme intelligence nor aptitude in ninjutsu or athleticism. Just a girl.

When Asuma died, I was struck with a new fear: I wasn't strong enough to protect the ones I loved. I couldn't protect Asuma; what gave me the gall to say I could protect Suzume?

Seeing Kurenai sobbing at Asuma's grave was frightening. Did I want Suzume to suffer as well, if by chance I encountered an enemy I couldn't defeat and came home, dead? Did I want her in Kurenai's position, carrying a fatherless child and having to raise that child alone?

The answer at that time was no. It was better to cut all ties and move on.

And now?

After seeing her again, I wasn't sure. Did I want to throw my abandons to the wind and have another person that I would risk? Or did I want to shun her, satisfying one of my wishes but sacrificing another?

Confusion.

I didn't want to think about it anymore.

"I don't know." Giving Ino a pointed look, I deliberately turned so I was facing the door. _End of conversation._

She heaved another irritated sigh before slinking off to join her friends again.

Not five minutes later, I heard heels clicking up behind me and growled angrily. Who was it now, Sakura? Whipping around, I snapped, "Look, I don't want to hear anything more about Suzume, just leave me alone!"

I stopped my uncharacteristic tirade as I gaped, openmouthed, as Suzume backed away. There was a glossy sheen over her eyes as she bit her lip.

_Shit._

_Why me._ "Suzume, I-"

Abruptly, the myriad of emotions on her face disappeared, and she offered me a smile. I sighed, relieved. Then:

"Goodbye."

* * *

><p>I left as quickly as I could, but not soon enough to see the horror dawning on Shikamaru's face. His hand reached out, as if to grab me, Go. Just go!<p>

I heard him slap his beer bottle down and run behind me, yelling, "Wait! Suzume!"

Bursting through the door, I hurriedly slipped off my shoes and ran as fast as I could, down the stairs, through the archway, into the streets where I was sure Shikamaru couldn't find me.

I couldn't go home, lest he find me and confront me-and a confrontation was not what I wanted at all. Where could I stay?

A little voice whispered into my ear: _the safest place is the most dangerous place._

Casually taking out my cell phone and slipping into a nearby convenience store, I checked the time quickly: 9:16. Good, it wasn't too late.

Punching in a series of numbers, I waited for the call to connect, glancing out the door every few seconds. _"Hello, Michiko speaking."_

I smiled, though I really felt like breaking down in the drinks aisle right then and there. "Michiko-san?" Too late, my voice was wobbling. "I wonder if you could let me stay at your place for a little while..."

_"Suzume? What's wrong? Of course you can stay the night! Come quickly, I'll be by the door, waiting for you."_

I thanked her and ended the call. Nara residence, here I come.

* * *

><p><strong>Did you think they were going to get together? Haha, not quite. But I do have something fun in mind...<strong>

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	14. Canoodling

**It's what you've all be probably waiting for. :) Oh, and you might not know this, but I HATE writing super fluffy stuff like this. -_- Well not 'hate', I just get carried away and make it really cheesy. I'm not good at it, AT ALL. So please give me some tips!**

**Again, thank you so much muzikchic4eva, 10th Squad 3rd Seat, and DrummerForTheMasses! Your reviews are so encouraging and I love reading and replying to them!**

_(WARNING: expletives abound. :P)_

_Canoodling_

"Well?" Now that I was showered and changed, Michiko-san folded her arms and looked at me expectantly. She wanted her explanation, and she wanted it now.

Hesitating, I scrabbled at the fraying hem of the nightshirt she'd lent me. "Well…it's kind of about Shikamaru."

Her mood visibly soured. "I figured as much. What has the brat done now?" Obviously Michiko-san harbored some sort of grudge against her relative, but I didn't think much about it.

"You figured as much?" I asked instead. "Why? How?"

She shrugged. "Chalk it up to intuition. Anyway, what happened that made you so distraught?"

Heaving a soft sigh, I began the story at (where else?) the beginning.

* * *

><p>"Okay, so let me get this straight: you were ex-roommates, recently met again, he's sending mixed signals but just indirectly rejected you to your face." Michiko-san paused, digesting this information. "And you still like him even now."<p>

I nodded limply, fresh out of tears. No use in denying it now, after I'd cried this much.

"Well, it's not surprising," Michiko-san said suddenly. "Shikamaru has always taken after his dad, after all; they have trouble announcing their feelings to women. In fact, I know that Shikamaru's mom was led a merry chase before they actually started dating."

"I hate Nara men," I grumbled into a pillow.

Michiko-san chuckled. "Which is why I plan to marry an outsider." Sighing, she stood to crawl over to her own futon, which was adjacent to mine. "Come on, let's sleep. I'll squirrel some food in for you in the morning, and don't worry about Shikamaru stumbling upon you—he never comes to this area of the house."

She was about to turn the lights off when I whispered, "Michiko-san?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind if…I mean, my shifts at the kindergarten…"

Michiko-san gave me an encouraging smile. "I'll make the shifts as far apart as I can, but remember, Suzume: you can't avoid him forever, especially if he's _trying_ to seek you out." She flicked the light switch. "If there's one thing about Nara men, it's that what they want, they get."

I crawled into my futon. Obviously the Nara man I wanted didn't want me. Snuggling into my pity party, I murmured, "Thank you, Michiko-san."

She laughed warmly. "After all this, I'd appreciate it if you could just dump the formalities and call me Michiko."

I grinned weakly. "Sure."

* * *

><p>Five hours later and I still was unable to go to sleep. No, it wasn't because of heartbreak, though that certainly was a factor.<p>

_It was because Michiko snored like a demon._

Despite her warnings not to go out (unless to the bathroom, which was just down the hall), I couldn't help but pad down the corridor to the garden outside. It was dangerously close to Shikamaru's room, but hell, it was so loud I just _needed_ some fresh air.

I trudged to the little pond, where I had tossed Shikamaru in so many years ago. Crouching next to it, I dipped my hand into the water, splashing quietly. The water was cold—I shivered. _Should have brought a coat._

My shoulders slumped as my mind naturally thought back to Shikamaru's words. Heartbreak version two, five years later.

"You should be stronger than this, Suzume," I muttered to myself as I wiped my wet hand on the grass and stood up, turning to go back to the room. "You _are_ stronger than—"

Shikamaru stood lazily on the terrace, moonlight casting most of his face into shadow. Instinctively, I remembered the night when he left to avenge Asuma-san.

_Deja vu. Extreme deja vu._

I gulped, suddenly aware of how Michiko's faded nightshirt went to my upper thighs. There had to be a way to get out of this situation. Could I pretend that he was dreaming? It was two in the morning, after all.

"Suzume." Shikamaru's tone made it clear that he was very, very awake. "You came with Michiko." It was a statement, not a question—somehow, he'd figured it all out already.

I could only brazen it out now, with my head held high. Tilting my chin upwards, I tried to sound more confident than I really was. "Yes. So?"

He sighed. _He sounds so tired._ "I need to clarify things." He stepped off the terrace; instinctively, I backed away several steps.

"You've already made several things clear, thank you very much." _I don't want to be hurt anymore._

Shikamaru looked so exasperated that I almost ran away, right there and then. "Please, just listen. Please." He edged one step closer. When I didn't move, he moved closer again, like he was afraid I would bolt or something.

(Then again, I almost did.)

"Will you listen to what I have to say?" It was weird, hearing Shikamaru speak this way. He was so unusually…earnest. Caring.

Slowly, I nodded.

At this, Shikamaru seemed to be at a loss as to what to say. After a long pause, he scratched his head. "What I said to you—what I thought I was saying to Sakura—I didn't really mean. I didn't mean any of it, in fact."

He paused. "That is…I don't _not_…like you." Another stilted silence. "I was angry. At Ino and Sakura both. For meddling, for being nosy as usual. I wanted to handle things myself, sort things out myself and they—" A disgruntled look appeared on his face. "They just made everything a whole lot worse. And I didn't want to lose to them by saying—by admitting that—"

"So we just have to stop this..." I interrupted. "...this whole skirting around the issue."

His face brightened considerably, but not by much. "Yes."

"Then let's make it clear to them: I like you, I've always liked you, but you've never liked me. So let's just cut our losses. Goodbye." Hurriedly ending the conversation, I skirted past him towards Michiko's room. I couldn't—wouldn't—cry in front of him. Not now. Not ever.

He groaned audibly and took a firm hold on my arm, spinning me into his grasp like he had did earlier that night. "What can I say to make you believe me?"

_His face is so close._ Confused, I blinked. "Believe what?"

Visibly distraught, Shikamaru kept a hand on his face, one calloused thumb brushing a wet eyelid. "You're crying again."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I kept silent.

He was having some kind of internal battle at the moment, but one side apparently won out, because he just growled and said, "You understand, don't you?" Somehow, I had a feeling that this was as close as pleading that Shikamaru was going to get.

"Understand? Understand what?" I was blubbering now, frustrated. "That you want nothing to do with me? Yes, I understand it very well!"

"You. Don't. Get. It." His words came out stilted and angry, then finally the wrinkles between his eyebrows cleared. Shikamaru heaved an unusually heavy sigh. "Fuck this."

Then in a flurry of movement that I barely saw or remembered, Shikamaru closed the distance between us and sealed my mouth with his.

_Was this some kind of dream?_ I wondered incoherently, feeling his mouth move on mine in agonizing bliss. _How mixed are his signals going to get?_

If it was a dream, might as well enjoy it while it lasted. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I leaned into the kiss, happily, tearfully.

When it seemed that all the oxygen in my body had been used up, I broke contact. Looking disappointed, Shikamaru settled his hands around my hips. Like me, he was breathing heavily and looked slightly dazed.

In wonder, I marveled at the proximity our bodies were in. Reaching up to touch his cheek lightly, I whispered, "Is this some kind of twisted dream?"

"If you want it to be." Shikamaru's eyes were dark. "Or we could make this into reality." He traced my bruised lips, taunting me silently. "What do you think?"

Closing my eyes, I leaned in for another kiss. "I'll take the reality check, please."

* * *

><p>After what seemed like a millennia, Shikamaru and I lay on the grass in each other's arms. We lay there in a comfortable silence, Shikamaru looking up at the stars, me listening to the steady fall and rise of his chest.<p>

"I don't get it," I whispered, "why the sudden change? I thought you hated me."

"It's not as sudden as you think it was." I felt him sigh against my head. "I was confused…and scared. For a long time. Scared that I wouldn't be able to protect you, and…" Now, his voice took on a distinctly guilty tone. "…I didn't want to lose to Ino and Sakura. Much less Kiba."

_Lose!_ "Is dating me considered _losing_?" I demanded, half-serious.

"No, giving into Ino and Sakura is considered losing." He chuckled lowly. "Dating _you_ is just a bonus."

"A _bonus_!"

"All right, it's a very, very tempting part of the deal that I eventually acquiesced to." Shikamaru sighed. "I guess we'll have to own up to it sooner or later." The prospect of this seemed to be extremely off-putting for him, a fact that bothered me a little more than it should have.

I asked another question that was nagging at me. "Why did you just decide to date me? We've only met for a week."

"Why do you still like me, after five years?" Shikamaru turned the question back to me.

Flushing, I mumbled, "Because I can't seem to stay away from you, no matter how hard I try." It was embarrassing now that I managed to put it into words.

He smiled and pressed his lips onto my forehead gently. "Well, there's your answer."

_I think I just turned a fluffy pink of happiness._

We lay there in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before something occurred to me. "Hey, Shikamaru…"

"Great. What now?" Shikamaru acted as if he was bothered, but I persisted anyway.

"How are we going to tell everybody? About—" I waved my hands at us. "—this?"

He was silent for a moment, brooding, before he sat up. "Get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

_In the morning._ The promise that surely, this _wasn't_ a dream, made me smile subconsciously. "Can we stay out here a little while longer?"

"You're barely wearing anything, and it's three in the morning." Shikamaru's instant reasoning didn't affect my happy mood in the least. He hesitated, but finally gave in. "Don't blame me if you catch a cold."

Standing up, I just grinned and stood on my tiptoes, entering into his embrace again.

* * *

><p>Needless to say, I had a hard time keeping a straight face around Michiko the next morning.<p>

Immediately, she knew something was up—especially when Shikamaru appeared around the corner, true to his word.

"Okay, you guys definitely had some hot makeout session or something, because last time I checked, _she_—" She pointed at me, "—was sobbing her eyes out in a corner."

It was embarrassing to hear myself portrayed in such a frivolous manner, but I ducked my head happily anyway.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "None of your business, Michiko." He glanced at me. "Come on. I'll walk you home."

_Shikamaru had come to see me._

_It really wasn't a dream!_

I sounded like the neediest, clingiest girl in the world, but at this point, I didn't care.

I was just happy to be with him.

* * *

><p>"Suzume-sensei!" Emi, Kurenai's daughter, tumbled over to me as I entered the kindergarten room, tying an apron around my waist.<p>

"_Shuzume-shenshei_!" A wave of childish shrieks ensued as I laughed and lifted her up.

"Good morning, class!"

"Good morning!" the kids chorused as I bent to hug as many as possible.

"Where's Shikamaru-sensei?" I asked curiously, looking around the room.

"Sleeping!" more than one of the kids yelled. Which meant he hadn't come yet.

I snorted. Figures. "Well then, class, guess what we're going to be doing today?" I waited for them to answer before clapping my hands and announcing, "We're going to learn how to make paper origami!"

"I wanna make a genin headband!" Emi shrieked, easily one of the most rambunctious of them all.

"I wanna make a sword!" one of the boys, Kazuto, shouted.

"Well, we're going to start off easy and make paper helmets!" I attempted to quiet down the gaggle of kids, already feeling exhausted. Oh, where was Shikamaru when you needed him?

He came in fifteen minutes later, after I was thoroughly harried. He, on the other hand, looked infuriatingly calm and relaxed.

"Where were you?" I muttered angrily. "Come on, help out."

Shikamaru didn't say anything, but his hand brushed against mine and tugged at my fingers subtly. "Ino caught me before I left. Said something about a blind date."

Flinching, I frowned. _Was she trying to set him up with someone else already? _I bent to help a child fold her helmet. "And what did you say to that?" I asked, a warning in my voice.

_Tread carefully, mister._

He smirked, no doubt completely aware of what was running through my head. "I told her I wanted nothing more to do with that creepy girl who keeps on stalking me after five years." He winced when I slapped his arm—hard. "And who abuses me constantly," he added dryly.

"Did you agree in the end?" I asked. "In which case, I heard that your stalker likes Italian."

"Maybe." He smirked cheekily.

"You two!" Michiko poked her head in the room and hollered. "Stop canoodling and get to work!"

"Yes ma'am," I called back.

"What's canoodling?" Kazuto demanded indignantly.

Shikamaru smoothly replied, "It's when you open a can of noodles."

"I don't see any noodles here!" the little boy announced.

"They're invisible," I put in. That seemed to satisfy him.

Over the little boy's head, I smiled bashfully at Shikamaru. My boyfriend smirked, yawned, and retreated to the window seat, where he curled up in the sun to nap.

I shook my head.

Even if we were dating, there were some things that never changed.

* * *

><p>Ino came by later, victoriously, to inform me that I had a date with a "mysterious man." Unknowing to her, I already knew where it was (Bruno's, the local Italian restaurant that I loved) and who it was with (Shikamaru). In addition, I had the express permission of Shikamaru to reveal the true nature of our relationship-and laugh at the aftermath.<p>

"Ino," my expression was grave, "I have a boyfriend already, you know. And a date tonight."

She paled, looking shocked and bewildered all at once. "But...but..."

Finally, I cracked a smile at her. "It's at Bruno's."

The poor girl still looked confused.

I decided to reveal one more piece of the puzzle. "You might know him-his name is Shikamaru."

Ino's expression morphed from one of horror to one of exhilaration. **"OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN OH MY-"**

Her exuberant screams drowned out any form of explanation I could offer. No matter; I bent down and fetched a tub of ice cream from the fridge, digging into it comfortably, ignoring Ino's hoots and hollers.

This would take a while.

* * *

><p><strong>Finally they're together! A sneak peek of the next chapter, <strong>**_The Morning After._**** And no, it's not what you might think:**

I woke up groggily, sitting up in my bed.

_My throat hurts._

_Scratch that, everything hurts._

Crawling out of bed, I shuffled over to the phone, feeling my forehead. Not that it mattered; I couldn't feel whether it was hotter or colder than usual, anyway. _Now where did I put that thermometer?_

Slowly, I dialed Michiko's number on the phone, waiting for her to pick up. "Michiko?" I started when my voice came out broken and hoarse.

_"God, is that you, Suzume? What happened?"_

"I think I caught a bug," I hacked, coughing up some phlegm. _Yuck._ "Or a cold."

Instantly, my mind went back to a couple days back, when Shikamaru and I lay out in the courtyard at 3AM, stargazing:

_"Don't blame me if you catch a cold."_

Aw, shucks.

Michiko's voice was worried. _"Go get some rest-you're off from working until you're fully recovered. I'll send Shikamaru by to check up on you, okay?"_

Double shucks. My boyfriend was going to come by with me looking and sounding like _this_. Not to mention, he was probably going to get a real kick out of the entire situation.

_Groan._

* * *

><p><strong>The faster you review, the faster I'll update! ;)<strong>


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